Put a sock on it

Hello, again. My name is Will. J is my human and she has invited me back to write for you. Today I’m discussing outer space and Oklahoma. Where a lady named Lottie Williams was walking laps in a park when a piece of a Delta II rocket descended from above — way above — and landed on her.

She is the only person in recorded history to be hit by space debris. She took it to the library. The library told her to take it to the astronomy club. She did. They didn’t want it. I get it. That’s sort of like playing “fetch” when a human doesn’t. I mean doesn’t throw it back.

The same rocket also dropped a 551-pound propellant tank a few yards from a farmhouse in Georgetown, Texas. I see trash all the time because my nose often points down. When space trash hit a town in Australia, the tiny town fined NASA for littering. The town is very small. NASA is very big.

Then a piece of the International Space Station slammed through the roof of a home in Naples, Florida, and nearly struck a young boy. Here, at the Not-Old-Folks-Home, pieces sometimes fly off the roof. Once or twice they almost hit J and me. They plan to fix this in a few years. Seems a bit slow.

Speaking of slow, there’s a huge patch of dirt below J’s place, which, of course, is my place, too. It used to be a huge mound, then became a huge patch after something noisy flattened it. Then it stayed in lieu of a view. For three years.

They’re now planning to plant it. In 2031. Five years from now. There’s a new and updated “Strategic Plan,” one of many plans, it seems — proposed, promoted, postponed. Plans are big around here. Promises, too. Kept or not.

Everything dies. J told me that. That’s sad. I’m into life. Also toys and treats. I have a weird thing on my foot, and the vet told J to put medicine on it and then put a sock on it. So she does. Then I take it off. First I snap the dog-proof strap, then I strip off the sock. Even though the package proclaims that’s impossible.

Other species don’t start wars, break promises, or make Strategic Plans. The vet said the sore needs a “procedure” soon. Not a Strategic Plan.

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