Welcome back to What the Fuck Happened This Week?, the weekly recap where I go back through seven days of news and discover, once again, that seven days is apparently enough time for this country to produce approximately six months of material.
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This week we have Trump winning another golf tournament at his own golf club, a bank explaining that hundreds of Trump-related accounts were closed after a money-laundering review, the Pentagon asking for “creative” ideas for the Iran war, the federal government using Spider-Man to advertise deportations, a court reminding Trump that he does not personally own the White House, DOGE’s savings math falling apart under federal review, and Todd Blanche finally becoming attorney general.
So, you know. A normal week.
Let’s get into it.
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