The Crack of Dawn #80-something

My Best Friend Jeffery

I’ll tell you the story

So you know what I mean

This is the sordid tale of

Me and Jeffery Epstein

I really liked Jeffery a lot

He was my best friend in the world

We had a lot in common

Like screwing underage girls

Jeffery dearly loved money

The same as I do

But Jeffery was awfully generous

Particularly for a Jew

Me and Jeff started a business

Way back when

To sell underage girls

To rich horny men

I’d hire the girls

At the spa at my club

I’d have them strip naked

And get in the tub

Then I’d invite over

Jeff and Ghislaine

If the girls were pretty enough

They were offered money and fame

This scam worked great

For quite a few years

Right up to the time

I screwed Jeff on a real estate deal

Jeff found beachfront property

In West Palm for a steal

Then behind his back

I stole the whole deal

He should have known better

Then to show me his dealings

Then Jeff dumped me as a friend

Really hurting my feelings

I had to get revenge

I just couldn’t fight it

So I ratted on Jeff

And got him indicted

How could I ever forget

How good it made me feel

Till Jeffery paid off the D.A.

And got a sweetheart deal

Thankfully Jeff forgave me

We returned to making loot

Tricking underaged girls

Into becoming prostitutes

This coulda gone on forever

But again Jeff got caught

And the next D.A.

Couldn’t be bought

When Jeff went to jail

I feared he might squeal

I had him killed in his cell

That closed the deal

Jeffery was my best friend

But it was me who he dumped

Now I have no friends

It seems I got trumped