Stop shoulding yourself.

The word "should" was toxic for me for a very long time.

It seemed harmless enough, like it was trying to help me “be my best self” and “live up to my potential.” In reality, it was a thief of joy, stealing clarity, draining energy, and setting me up for endless second-guessing. It tricked me into believing there was one right way and countless wrong ways, and that it was very likely I was doing things one of the "wrong" ways.

One “should” that really got me good me in Lexicontent’s first year: "I should offer as many services as possible because I know how to do a lot of different things well (thanks, ADHD!) and offering more of them means I'll get more clients and sell more to some of them too, right?"

It made sense on the website. I did everything: writing, photography, podcast production, social media marketing, thought leadership articles, research, workshops... whatever clients needed. And I still think I did a really good job of delivering those things, when I sold them.

But the chaos of explaining, selling, and delivering such a variety of services left me exhausted. Some days, I sat in traffic for in-person work I barely wanted to do -- and that was time that I couldn't use to get any of the rest of my pile of work done, too. Much less actually get some rest for myself.

It wasn’t sustainable. I kept telling myself, “This is success, right? Staying busy, proving I could handle it all… Proving to myself that I’m actually good at all of these things I think I’m good at, by doing it for others?”

Deep down, I knew better. I wasn’t building a business... I was building a cage with the bars made out of the colorful little blocks in Google Calendar.

What finally turned things around was letting go of “should” and starting to ask, “What would I want if I were the client?”

If I was looking for someone to work with, would I choose someone juggling everything? Or someone sharp, focused, and excellent at one thing? The answer was obvious, I just had to think about it in terms of "would" instead of "should."

So, I made the scariest decision of my career... I opened up the services section of my website and deleted 90% of it. I stopped offering everything except for writing and content strategy, the work I loved and could deliver exceptionally well.

Everything got easier. Clients became more excited because I was more excited. I could explain what I did in one sentence. I created space for myself to breathe, think, and build something that felt like it really reflected how I look at the world.

Looking back, “should” was the only thing standing between me and this version of my business. It conned me into meeting every need, playing every role, and being everything to everyone. But “should” only knew what I could do. It didn't know who I wanted to be, and it did not care if I was unfulfilled and exhausted.

For a business rooted in creating or consulting, and for a fulfilling life as well, there’s no perfect path forward to be found in someone else’s playbook. The only way forward was to write my own. No one could tell me what I should do, but deep down, I already knew what I would do, once I stopped shoulding myself.