Please tap the {{heart}} button, which helps new readers find I Already Spent the $200
As I was washing dishes, a robot dog walked over to me, barked, and wagged its tail.
Yes, a robot dog. Sasha and Norah must have been pretty good last year, as “Santa” saw fit to give them a high-tech canine android. The girls had been hinting that they wanted a real dog, but I’m guessing Santa’s preference was something that didn’t shit in the house. Or activate Evi’s allergies.
I looked down at the dog. It started wagging its tail so quickly that it became a blur. LED lights on the tail spelled out “I ❤️ U”. I was aware that the girls could program messages on the dog’s tail—amongst other actions—using an iPad, so I knew it was their message. I chuckled and went back to the dishes.
Evi, my wife, is one of the most brilliant people I’ve ever met. She taught herself English in order to move to the United States as a young girl. She taught herself computer programming using YouTube. She taught herself 3D and virtual reality modeling in order to found a mixed reality tech startup that is just now starting to take off. And she’s definitely rubbing off on our girls; Sasha is a gifted first grade student, and while Norah is still only in VPK, we think she may actually be the smarter one.1 Evi definitely pushes them both.
Which is great, but what about my influence? While first grade dreams probably don’t mean much, Sasha is now saying she wants to be a rocket scientist. A ROCKET SCIENTIST! AND SHE’S ALREADY PROGRAMMING ROBOTS! I don’t remember what my dream job was in first grade, but it definitely wasn’t any kind of scientist. It was probably more like Batman.
Still washing dishes, I started to fret a little. Both our daughters are gorgeous, like their mom. Both our daughters seem like they’ll be extremely intelligent, like their mom.
What about me? I thought. Will I have any influence at all on my girls?
The dog stopped wagging its tail and turned around, facing the other way. It lifted up its butt to me.
Then made a loud, long fart sound.
I could hear our little girls laughing riotously in the living room.
I guess I don’t have a thing to worry about.
~JCS
P.S. Again, if you like my writing, please PLEASE tap the {{heart}} button to help me out. Thanks!
I better delete this shit before they both start reading my stuff.
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.