
Why We Marry Our Unfinished Business
On projection, perception, and learning to ‘take back your eyes’ in the relationships that matter most.
A psychoanalyst's reflections on love, attachment, trauma, and the body—where personal narrative meets clinical depth. For those navigating relationships and therapists exploring somatic approaches. Author of Somatic Therapy for Healing Trauma.
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On projection, perception, and learning to ‘take back your eyes’ in the relationships that matter most.

On marriage, affairs, and the difference between leaving a relationship and leaving yourself.

What disappointment taught me about mourning, self-relationship, and the difference between grief and giving up.

"Well, what about all the times I—" On whataboutisms, defensive maneuvering, differentiation, and how couples break the back-and-forth for real intimacy.

Where it comes from, why it feels so awful, and how our relationships hold both the wound and the repair.

Enmeshed sons, patriarchy without ritual, and what it costs a marriage.

He said "whatever" to sushi for three months. Here's what it took to finally ask his partner for pasta, instead.

What psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams knows about mature love and psychological health that pop therapy's 'red flag' era leaves out.

On the compulsion toward changing our partners, and what becomes possible when we stop.

What your clothes say about you — and the self you're fashioning every time you open your closet.