In Good Company

Hi there!

As the year is starting to draw to a close I have a few good reasons for writing an update to you all after a longer time. This summer was quite intense. I produced and co-directed 3 short films together with Sarah Sea. At the Microsolidarity Summer Camp I grew in to a new role as mentor and supporter for a new generation of hosts. At Civil Action Network I’ve been starting to take my leadership more seriously and have been experiencing a lot more ease.

In Summer 2023 my good friend and collaborator Jan and I where brainstorming new project ideas for an upcoming grant deadline. We already where sure about one project we wanted to submit but both felt it was a safer bet to come up with a second one. After tossing around some ideas we landed on “something around telling inspiring stories of cool changemakers” - sweet! After a few more weeks of project design and talks with potential partners the project was fleshed out and finally submitted from our friend Sonias kitchen table with a spacious buffer of 4 hours to be spared till the deadline. Fast forward to December 2023 and we get surprising news: the main project we wanted to do got rejected but the back up went through. Well. I guess the plan kind of worked then. Fast forward again to Spring 2024 and we actually start working on the project. The first part of the project concerns itself with producing 3 short films that portray young changemakers who are working on social cohesion instead of driving polarisation like so many others. Early on I team up with Sarah Sea who is a godsend because I’ve never made any films before. With her generous mentorship and guidance the project moves along nicely and over the summer we conceptualize, shoot and edit 3 films between 6 and 9 minutes. I’m really happy with the results. Each of the protagonists brings a different quality that I really admire: Merle has such ease in connecting with people from all sorts of different backgrounds; Afrah has a clear view of the socio-political landscape, her own position in it and those of others, yet is very capable of compassion across social divides; Inbal is fierce in her commitment to reconciliation and peace work yet deeply rooted in a sense of community. You can watch all three films here on YouTube.

Over the past year maybe you’ve read the term “Hermit Crabbing” in my writing. To find out what it means, check out this post. In short: it describes passing on a role you filled previously to somone else and mentoring them along the way, once you’ve learned what you had to learn in it. With my friend Jocelyn Ames I’ve been on a shared growth journey for the past few years as we both got more and more involved in the microsolidarity network. After hosting last years summer camp, a winter retreat and a bunch of online courses, at this years summer camp we were taking the role of holding space for a new group of hosts to step up and take their turn at facilitating the camp. Here are my 2 main takeaways from this experience:

• If an event is embedded in a larger context like a network or community, it is vital that the holders of the context (in this case Richard Bartlett, Jocelyn and I) open up the event container and clearly and explicitly transfer the hosting power to the hosting team. This way the informal power structure is transparent to all participants and there are no (or less) uncomfortable undercurrents around “who’s who in this space?”

• There is a specific inner move that I can make when something happens in a group that doesn’t agree with my core values. It’s hard to put in to words but here’s my best guess: notice the dissatisfaction (anger, anxiety, fear, bodily tension, shakiness, tingling - however it manifests); let it be, be with it, asking it “what do I hold dear that seems to be threatened by what’s happening?”; keep asking till there is a clear answer, that’s not intellectual, but ontological, i.e. relates to direct experience rather than concepts about reality; find a way to bring this clarity in to contact, make space for it by acting out of it.

If you’re curious about microsolidarity, on December 3rd we are kicking of another round of one of our practice programs. It’s about a peer support practice called “Crewing”. If you’re wanting to bring more depth to exisiting relationships or take your first steps in to becoming a community builder, this program may be interesting for you. All the info here.

I spend most of my working time co-leading an organisation called Civil Action Network. It’s a small NGO and we work to empower ordinary people to develop the skills and perspectives that enable them to act collectively for a more peaceful and just present and future. Over the past 6 months I’ve been going through an at times very uncomfortable transformation in relation to my leadership. As we are growing as an organisation (i.e. achieving some of the things I’ve been envisioning for a long time), my role is changing from developing ideas and projects that I’m excited about towards holding a container for others to develop ideas and make sure they fit within our larger strategy. This development has begun more than a year ago, but got really tangible since March of this year. There’s many things I could say about it, but the jist of it is that: I was getting really good at the way I was filling my role before. I was thinking of myself as having mastered being a shaper of this organisation. Then without my noticing (at least initially) the conditions of my engagement shifted. What was required of me in terms of how I show up, how much attention I pay to others processes, how pro-active I am in holding and supporting, went through a phase change. Where before I was working on developing our long term strategy with Jan, Sonia and Flo in the core team and doing some project work on the side, now I was doing the same categories of work, but different. The project work meant not doing everything by myself and occasionally handing off clear cut work packages, but continously enrolling others into a learning process, figuring out where there motivation lies, what’s easy for them and where I can be more helpful. It meant thinking in many more dimensions at once, connecting the smallest scale changes back to the big strategy and tracking implications of multiple scenarios. It meant taking more responsibility for how my actions affect the whole. And for months I hated it. Not because I was incapable of it. But because I was still operating under the assumption, that “now I’ve mastered this”. Which was true for my previous stage of development. But under these new conditions this conclusion about myself was getting in the way of me sharing where I was feeling insecure with my peerss, asking for support from those with more experience, or admitting when I had fucked up. This was very uncomfortable. I was either beating myself up for not being enough, or projecting my own shortcomings on everyone else. To the point where part of me was seriously thinking about quitting. But I made it through. Because luckily, I was in good company. Especially my colleague Jan who is a seasoned leader was being so gracious with my flailing. He had to take a lot of shit over those months. But eventually he helped me see through it, by holding a space in which the most afraid parts of me still felt able to admit - I’m learning here, this is new for me, I fucked up a bunch but I’m willing to try again and be better next time. I also had great support from other mentors and peers, like aforementioned Rich and Jocelyn and a few others.

To make a long story a bit shorter: I was able to navigate these transformational half year, learn a shit ton and pop out the other side because I had good company along the way.

One thing that also became clear in conversations I had with many people along the way is this: the challenges I was experiencing are not unique. Being in a leadership position with a vision for a more just and beautiful world these days is hard. That’s why Rich, Jocelyn and I are offering an 8 week coaching journey called “In Good Company - Holding Power with Integrity”. It starts January 30th and consists of a mix of group coaching (where the three of us guide the explorations of a few participants per session) and peer coaching where participants practice supporting each other through their challenges. If you’re curious to learn more, you can learn more and apply here. And as always, if you have any questions, you can book a free 15 min consultation to see if it’s a good fit for you.

• On November 30th we’re hosting a community gathering in Vienna with CAN, including a flea market, a workshop on social polarisation and a common dinner - you are invited.

• Check out the microsolidarity and CAN newsletters for monthly updates from those respective worlds.

• Join Jocelyn, Rich and I tonight, 6pm CET for a conversation on “Holding Power with Integrity”