A Busy Weekend, for Unserious Men, Unfit for Office

Todd Blanche is about to become America’s Attorney General, fulfilling Satan’s elaborate plan to make Pam Bondi look good.

Donald Trump’s private criminal defense attorney, the one who met Ghislaine Maxwell in prison and promptly moved her to a substantially nicer prison even though she’s a child rapist and all, is about to become America’s Top Cop.

Which means he’s still Trump’s criminal defense attorney, but now you’ll be paying his salary.

It’s like hiring your divorce lawyer to become the marriage counselor for the entire country. And apparently his confirmation has come down to two departing Republican senators saying, ‘Look... we’re fine with most of the corruption. We just need this one piece of corruption to go away in writing.’

Last week, Senators John Cornyn and Thom Tillis demanded written assurances that Blanche’s $1.8 billion January 6th Slush Fund was dead.

Never mind that the concept of a plan of a J6 Slush Fund alone proves that Blanche is comically unfit for the job. I mean, they want you and me to shell out our taxpayer dollars for the thugs who attacked cops on the Capitol steps for Trump’s lie. It’s like Venmo for fascists. Mussolini had to do all this under the table.

But these Senators wanted written assurances from Trump, because they knew Blanche cannot stop lying and his word under oath clearly meant nothing; and because AG Blanche probably won’t be going after himself for perjury.

So that’s where the bar is now, friends. It’s not “don’t do corrupt things.” It’s “can you please put in writing that you won’t do this one corrupt thing that you keep saying you want to do?”

They demand physcial proof on paper that the deal is dead.

Try to understand the irony.

10 years after Trumpism began, Republicans are demanding a death certificate.

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Besides the ⅙ slush fund, Todd Blanche needs to be famous for:

-His extremely active role in the Epstein child trafficking coverup

-Boasting of his Christianity while violently deporting brown-skinnned Christian refugees; and calling them “illegals”

-His prosecutions of innocent ppl like James Comey, or the deeply hateful and mendacious prosecution of the Southern Poverty Law Center; both indicted because Todd Blanche’s client, with the 34 felony convictions, hates them.

And Nixon, watching all this from hell, said “Too much, guys, too much.”

And while these 2 Senators demanded the end of the slush fund, the deal reportedly still includes extraordinary tax-related protections for Trump and his businesses and revolting kids on certain past audit matters.

Since when did Eric and Don Jr. become a protected species?

“Family values” now includes family audit immunity, folks. These are the people who tried to make you mad about Hunter Biden.

And so Todd Blanche will take his place alongside Pete Hegseth, Kash Patel, Markwayne Mullin and Jay Clayton as the most profoundly unfit leaders of their respective national security agencies.

And if he doesn’t have the votes, Trump will make “Acting Attorney General” Blanche’s permanent title. Y’know, like that “temporary construction” at LaGuardia.

That sound you hear is the Founders, screaming from their tombs.

Meanwhile….

Rep. Max Miller (Dbag-Ohio) went live on Elon’s Incel Chatroom to deny allegations he’d abused his ex-wife and their young daughter, and to boast about how he’s staying in his re-election race, to the delight of Democratic consultants.

Shortly after this, Max’s ex-father-in-law, Sen. Bernie Moreno (Dbag-Ohio), finally found his voice and denounced him, about two years after it would’ve been useful.

Moreno now says his former son-in-law, current Congressman Miller, is dangerous, needs psychological help, and shouldn’t serve in Congress.

I see. Let’s touch on the timing.

Bernie Moreno spent last week literally demanding prison for Dr. Anthony Fauci, but the guy who abused and terrorized his wife and grandchild “needs psychological help.”

Pandemics require public outrage; family abuse requires tasteful NDAs.

Moreno said ‘If there are any basic standards of character required to hold elected office, Max Miller fails them.’ But literally two days before, when Moreno had been asked whether Miller should stay on, he said he didn’t know.

Keep in mind that Moreno himself once called Donald Trump a fake Republican who trafficked in hatred and fear. But then obedience to Trump became a political ladder, and suddenly it was, ‘You know what? Maybe ‘hatred and fear’ were taken out of context.’

And then he clicked his heels 3 times, and Marco Rubio appeared with fairy wings to offer him a job.

.

Then there’s Max Miller’s public defense. One of his arguments amounted to, ‘If I abused her, why would she cook me dinner days later?’

Which is the kind of talk that makes sane people want to put their heads through drywall.

Anyone familiar with domestic violence knows that relationships can be complicated, and that victims often go to great lengths to calm, placate and appease their abusers. That’s why courts examine evidence instead of accepting social media videos from mediocre GOP dudebro’s.

So one Republican says the other Republican is dangerous. The other Republican says everyone’s lying. And Trump says, ‘They’re just accusations.’

And of course Miller says he’s staying in the race. In today’s GOP, taking responsibility is weakness. This comes while House Republicans are working with a one-seat majority, and the ballot deadline is days way.

Do keep in mind, for all the Democrats’ flaws, they’d have replaced Miller weeks ago. When it comes to domestic abusers, Dems reject ‘em, GOPs re-elect ‘em.

Meanwhile…

Trump says Iran asked him to cancel a massive military strike because a deal was imminent, and Iran’s official statement is tantamount to “whut?”

Ponder this a moment. The President of the US announces negotiations, and Iran’s foreign ministry says, “Guys, we’re literally not negotiating.”

The scary part isn’t whether Trump was bluffing; it’s that nobody knows anymore. When a President says we’re about to bomb somebody, markets move, our allies panic, the troops prepare and the world holds its breath.

But in 2026, the collective response is: “Is this even real? Is this another Sunday announcement that’s gone by Tuesday?”

It’s not strategic ambiguity; it’s the market manipulator who cried wolf.

Trump has threatened so much overwhelming force, so many times. At this point Iran’s treating it like software updates.

This is how deterrence dies, friends. Not because America lacks military power; but because credibility has to be part of military power.

And finally…

Catastrophically unfit HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy TM Jr. went on CNN on Sunday and got defensive and rude when Dana Bash dared question his experience and authority as America’s Top Autism Disinformation Spreader.

It didn’t go well. He was so contemptuous of Dana Bash, it was like she was a child with measles. Here’s a clip of RFK showing how cool he is under mild questioning. If entitlement and hubris cured diseases we wouldn’t need vaccines:

Aaron Rupar@atrupar

RFK Jr: Dana, you probably don't understand this because you're not a scientist BASH: Well you're not either! RFK Jr: I know you're flustered now

1:28 PM · Aug 2, 2026 · 2.03M Views

1.32K Replies · 2.35K Reposts · 20.2K Likes

Note how RFK Jr. hears a straightforward question the way jazz musicians hear sheet music - merely as a suggestion. He dodges everything. Every interview with this guy becomes a hostage situation for the original topic.

Notice the pattern? The Attorney General who only represents one man. Senators who negotiate over paperwork instead of corruption. Family values that vanish when the family’s got political capital. The President who announces negotiations that don't exist. The Health Secretary using television to tell you television is lying.

And that’s why, like most of this cabinet, every RFK Jr interview is a master class in how to lose the headline you wanted, and earn the headline you deserved.