Japan - chapter 7 - Anti-Loop

Peace now restored to the canteen, the officer sat with a fresh bowl of cereal, pressing a handkerchief to his nose. Harry made his cautious way over, as one might approach a wounded animal.

‘Hello, you must be Officer Ant–’

‘Anti-Loop,’ he interjected. ‘And you must be the English teacher. I should firstly confess, though —I did not complete the assigned homework on past conditionals. But if you expect me to perform seppuku over it, then I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait until after lunch.’

‘No—nothing like that,’ said Harry, ‘I’ve actually been detained here.’

‘Well, what are you walking around for then?’

Before Harry could think of an adequate reply, Officer Anti-Loop turned his ear to the bowl. ‘Just listen to that! There’s no nutritional value in them—I’m well aware—but still, I just love listening to them crackle!’

‘Yes, it’s nice to hear,’ agreed Harry, ‘but back to my detention if I may: I think my subconscious threat assessment went badly because I wasn’t feeling very well. In fact, it was probably brought on by the interrogation itself.’

‘That’s quite possible,’ said Officer Anti-Loop. ‘Our assessors are quite tenacious in their work: the fittest ones bring in up to seven an hour. Usually, we find out sooner or later the true nature of our detainees’ characters. Those who bear us no ill will other than the fact we have detained them are usually the safer ones in the long term.’

‘Surely you don’t mean that the man who just assaulted you is safer than me?!’ asked Harry. ‘I mean, you have to admit that compared to him my behaviour has been impeccable.’

Officer Anti-Loop shook his head. ‘On the contrary. His behaviour has been much better. He did as his impulses dictated and has acted on this transparent level since arriving. Not only that, but he has not shown the slightest resentment to us, but only his situation.’

‘But why is he even in here then?’ asked Harry.

‘Ah, that I do not know entirely. He could give you more information in that regard.’

‘Well, he said he was kidnapped,’ said Harry.

‘Well, why should you doubt that?’ asked Officer Anti-Loop, removing the handkerchief, leaving a small pool of crusted blood below one nostril.

‘I’m not doubting it,’ continued Harry, ‘I’m just wondering why he’s here in that case.’

‘Are you more interested in his plight than your own? Shall we release him instead of you? And please believe me when I say that would be the safer option.’

‘Safer option?’ repeated Harry. ‘In the short time I’ve been here, I’ve heard him insult the one guard on the grounds of his sexuality—which, as they seem to affirm everything might not even be true anyway. Then I heard how he stamped on someone’s glasses for no reason. And just a moment ago, he literally punched you in the face, after claiming to understand your very patient request for calm! Yet, in light of this, you say you’d rather I was in his position?’

Officer Anti-Loop thoughtfully trailed his spoon through his cereal, which had become quite soggy.

‘I understand that this might be hard for you to accept. However, I am not concerned with what you believe to be fair or unfair. I have simply stated that an open book is an open book, and that your cellmate—though I doubt very much if you can call him that after attempting to incriminate him—’

‘—I certainly wasn’t trying to incriminate him!’ Harry shouted. ‘Actually, I was going to add before that you should review his file, as it seems he feels slightly let down by the system. As for my own position, I was merely defending myself against your insinuation that I was somehow more harmful than him and that I should be the one kept here rather than him, by pointing out some of the acts I had seen him do whilst in his company.’

‘Alright, just calm down,’ said Officer Anti-Loop. ‘I agree that maybe you are safer inside than he is, but that alone tells me you would be much more dangerous on the outside. And besides, if you have to use him to prove your supposed innocence, then it seems you have little to go on.’

‘I shouldn’t have to prove anything!’ said Harry. ‘It’s your administration who have been conducting all the analysis while I was being held.’

‘No, no analysis was necessary here. You are free, and yet arrive here to disturb my breakfast by complaining about a man who would give anything to be in your place,’ said Officer Anti-Loop, with a sad shake of his head.

‘But I complied and he didn’t, and only left my cell to come and speak to an official when I realised that the door had been left open for me,’ said Harry, who felt himself wearying under the great weight of misunderstanding. Perhaps the bearded rebel had been right, and his perfect Japanese was only a hindrance to presenting his case in a simple and intuitive way.

‘We only respect prisoners who fight back,’ said Officer Anti-Loop, raising his spoon and twirling it to conclude: ‘But that is irrelevant now. At this point I am now obligated—only as legal etiquette I might add—to release with an apology and a coupon for the Fate Hub, compliments of our thriving airport industry. Hopefully the rest of your stay in Japan will be more fortunate.’

Bryce 2.1 entered through the swinging doors, pushing the armchair, blue lights flashing as he announced himself: ‘Bryce 2.1, come to return the detainee, sir.’

‘Ah, thank the magnets you have arrived!’ exclaimed Officer Anti-Loop. ‘I was afraid that I’d have to lock myself up to get escape him!’

‘Well, I could have gone much earlier,’ said Harry, his ears glowing with frustration at having come across so badly. ‘But I came here—no, just hang on!’ he grabbed the box of cereal from Officer Anti-Loop, who was about to pour himself another bowl. ‘You can have your cereal in a minute—just listen! I didn’t leave. I came here because I thought I’d clear this whole thing up. I don’t know why that man is being held, but if you tell me he’s less dangerous on the outside then why isn’t he free?!’

‘Legalistic matters are never fair,’ said Officer Anti-Loop. ‘Just look at you: you have demeaned an officer by obstructing him from his breakfast—a crime that young Bryce 2.1 here could well be thrown to the bear for.’

‘Bear?’ said Harry.

‘Your former cellmate. They often refer to him as the bear on account of his tendency to grab people through the bars.’

‘Ah, yes, said Harry, I forgot to mention I saw him do that.’

‘You do not need to incriminate him further,’ said Officer Anti-Loop, ‘he knows exactly what he does: there is no lying in him—only madness, which is always forgivable. Whereas you stand here withholding my cereal, committing one atrocity after another. Well, let me give you some advice at least to go with the free coupon: you should remove the translator chip now and speak simple English like the one you heard me speak earlier. Things will be much simpler for you, trust me. If you think that speaking Japanese will somehow help you on whatever ambitious course you have set yourself, then you are sadly mistaken. It is one thing to have confidence, but you are displaying all the signs of one who will go like a star that burns brightly across the sky, but will soon plummet into the freezing ocean of karma. Now, give me back my cereal and let me be!’

‘Oh, I can do one better!’ exclaimed Harry, pouring a fresh portion of cereal into his bowl. This gesture of goodwill was unfortunately overshadowed the next instant, when an object came flying out of the box landing in the middle of the bowl, splattering Officer Anti-Loop’s uniform with specks of milk.

‘Now look what you’ve done!’ he wailed, as Harry tried to make out what the object was. Strangely enough, it seemed to be a model cat with the same pink colouring as the one he’d seen in the terminal. Though due to the expression on Officer Anti-Loop’s face, he knew he must apologise immediately, even though he himself was owed one.

‘I’m very sorry,’ he said, ‘I really didn’t mean to…’

‘Just get out!’ shouted Officer Anti-loop, whacking Harry’s hand with the spoon. ‘No matter how advanced you think we are, it is a shame we cannot lock people up for future crimes. But it matters not to you what a dusty old officer says, does it? Ignore my words! Burn with bright shameless colours. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you!’

‘Very well,’ said Harry. ‘I cannot take all of your advice on board, otherwise I would probably turn back—unless that is your agenda: to send strangers away before they have a chance to do any wrong. If that is the case then I must say I respect you for it, though such effort is wasted on me, as my intentions—as I tried to explain to Bryce 2.1 earlier—are honourable. I have just one request with your apology to me: please, do not tell my cellmate how I betrayed him, if only for his mental health—I feel he has enough trust issues as it is. Though as you already mentioned, you are already well briefed about the man’s activities here, even if you haven’t got any real understanding of the factors that landed him in your care in the first place; so, it wasn’t an actual betrayal as you initially made it out to be.’

Officer Anti-Loop looked blank. ‘Have I just had a stroke, or did all that babbling actually mean something?’

‘What I mean,’ said Harry, slowly, ‘is you already knew about his misbehaviour anyway, so it’s not really a betrayal on my end. But regardless, I’d rather you didn’t tell him what I said—for his sake, of course.’

‘Why should I say you didn’t betray him?’ asked the Officer Anti-Loop, picking out the little cat from the bowl and holding it in his palm.

‘You don’t have to tell him anything either way,’ said Harry.

Bryce 2.1 coughed as Officer Anti-Loop considered this for a while, rocking the cat around in his hand, giving Harry time to notice how finely detailed the face was: the expression was in some ways friendly, yet with the faint trace of a smirk.

‘Very well,’ he said finally. ‘You have made a valid point at last. Maybe you are more perceptive of others than you are of yourself, but I’m afraid it is impossible for me to change my personal opinion of you. It is better you leave like this—in cold formality—as I never like to shout anybody out of a room.’

At this, Bryce 2.1 bade Harry to sit back in the chair.

As they were wheeling away, Officer Anti-Loop called out: ‘Take this with you, I’m sure you’ll have one of your own soon…’ He threw the little model cat across the room, and Harry caught it, noticing at the same time how Bryce 2.1 broke his pristine cool by flinching slightly.

‘Is it customary to include pink cats in cereal boxes here?’ asked Harry, when they were rolling down the corridor once again.

‘You may find lots of different gifts in cereal,’ he replied, ‘though Officer Anti-Loop, is under quite a lot of pressure these days.’

‘With the system?’ supposed Harry.

‘No, with his two young sons, who themselves are under quite a lot of strain to collect all the right toys from one cereal box or another. So, he’s trying to eat as much cereal as possible so that they can have the complete collection before the new term starts.’

‘Yes, it’s hard on the parents,’ agreed Harry. ‘I imagine they already had the cat if he gave it to me.’

‘That might well be,’ said Bryce 2.1. ‘Would you like some attention around the lower back?’

‘Yes, I’m quite sore there from lying on that horrible bed,’ said Harry. It’s not so bad after all, he said to himself, shutting his eyes and enjoying the contrast between the cold air streaming past him and the deep internal warmth provided by the padding.