The mysterious art theft that almost was

Like a lot of people (probably even you), I like art. I visit it, I make it, I buy it, I hang it all around my apartment. In the private world that we call home, there’s nothing sadder to me than an empty wall. So, even after moving to totally blank walls in Lisbon, within a year I have collected a small gallery’s worth.

Art doesn’t have to cost a lot. Many of the pieces I bought directly from artists or at flea markets or thrift stores or online, locally, from people who were moving. And even though my walls are all spoken for, with more art waiting for its chance to hang, I’m always on the lookout for something cool. This morning I saw this:

Now, I love art of all kinds, and there’s a special place in my dark heart for the abstract. Rothko, Motherwell, Pollock—love, love, love. This one kind of reminded me of Francis Bacon. On the left, I saw a man, perhaps sitting on his bed, looking at a pile of clothes and junk in the corner of his room. The colors, the brushwork, the boldness… I had to have it. It was an original oil painting, by an unknown artist, so I’d get authenticity and mystery in the bargain. All for only €140!

So I messaged the seller and said I’d buy it. The seller had more art for sale, some cool paintings and prints. They were someone like me—they saw what they liked and they got it, and they just didn’t have enough wall space for it. They had no idea who made this one so I did a little internet sleuthing, to see if I could find out anything about the artist. I started by zooming in on their signature…

That first letter could be a G, then there’s some scribbly bits, then maybe h-i-m. Hmmm, maybe… Greshim? The internet told me I was bonkers. Then I thought… It’s abstract, what if they photographed it upside-down? I flipped it around…

There it was, clear as day: Wilfred. The internet didn’t say I was bonkers anymore. The internet told me it might be by Wilfred Lang. And as I looked at his signature on other works, and the works themselves, I thought, Oh shit, this could be an original Wilfred Lang! Whoever he is.

I have a few lucky finds by some famous artists (Miró, Chagall) but they’re just lithographs. They’re signed in the stone so that makes them more valuable, money-wise. But to me, the value of art is what it gives you. How it speaks to you. How it makes you feel. This one had all the feels.

As it turns out, Wilfred Lang is a contemporary Chinese-American painter, whose paintings have sold for over $40,000…

So I could have an original painting, that I really enjoyed, that was also so-called valuable, for only €140! An art collector’s dream!

I immediately messaged the seller and told them the deal was off.

I wouldn’t buy that fabulous original painting at that fabulous low, low price. Because I just couldn’t enjoy it as much if I knew I ripped off another art lover. Every time I looked at it, I’d think, Wow, what a steal and it would make me feel bad. Who needs art that makes you feel bad?

And so, with a heavy heart, I let it go. I told the seller to have it appraised. See if it could go to auction. Who knows, maybe it’s worth so much that they can sell it and buy the artwork of a dozen struggling artists, and set those new careers in motion. Or maybe, like me, the owner will keep it, to enjoy for the rest of their life, and hang it on their favorite wall.

Preferably upside-down.

The seller appreciated the good news and said he’d get it appraised and re-list it at a higher price. I looked up value online. Turns out most of Lang’s paintings went for much less. I made an offer and the seller accepted. So now I’m the happy owner of the painting that wasn’t stolen after all. Life is strange…