Pull up a chair.

I had a time-warp/mind-meld event recently. (Insert Twilight Zone music.)

A few weeks ago, I decided to check out a business women’s group and attend one of their events. Not just any group... this was a group I actually helped launch during my time at the Chamber. A little seed of an idea that we grew to be pretty well-respected and attended. (This is not a humble brag post, I promise.) But then, like many do in their late 20s, I left that role and, in doing so, fell out of my networking circles, only to find myself 15-ish years later wondering, “where’s all the good networking happening? Where are the people gathering?” Some muscles just die when you don’t use them. So I thought I’d start somewhere familiar.

And let me just say, women’s networking and camaraderie are alive and well at the Harrisburg Chamber. Walking in that morning, besides hating all of the clothes in my closet, I was incredibly impressed with the way this team has grown this group, beyond my wildest dreams. The room was packed, the energy was electric, and the outfits were further confirming my absolute loathing of my current wardrobe. No crumbs, ladies.

But here’s the rub. When this group started all those years ago, I remember sitting there, staring around the room, seeing all of these confident, established, driven women and thinking, “How will I ever be like them?”

Now, cut to the present, and there I sat, just a few weeks ago. A business owner. Entrepreneur. Seemingly established and confident woman, sitting at my table and yet still... looking around the room, thinking “how will I ever be like them?”

I think for many of us, we keep wondering: when will the mirror de-fog? I can see small swipes from where I leaned in to run my hand against the glass, getting a glimpse at who I’ve become and the Girl Scout badges I’ve proudly secured. But then it fogs over again, rise and repeat. You’re up, you’re down. It’s wild.

I’ve been thinking a lot about it since, and even talked to a few other women who have said they struggle with the very same thing. But I think the reason we struggle with it is actually a good thing. We’re not baked cakes yet! We’re always growing, and learning, and reducing the sauce. If we’re not, then what ARE we doing? Humility is good, self-deprecation can be a good ice breaker, but it’s no way to live. It’s a constant battle of mastery and self-awareness, feeling proud of our accomplishments, but also recognizing none of them would be possible without the grace of God.