When I’m old and on my deathbed (sorry, hope you’re had your caffeine, we’re going deep–lol, happy mothers day week!!) these are the things I hope to be able to say about my life:
That I really LIVED my life with so much intention and that I LOVED my people deeply. I didn’t let fear or pressure or other people’s opinions get in the way of pursuing what I truly wanted and valued in my life. I want to leave it all on the field. (An interesting metaphor for a girl who never played organized sports but hey, it’s a really good one, so we’re rolling with it!!)
AND! Another very important thing I want to be able to say:
That I truly helped a ton of women learn how to do this for themselves in a way that not only changed their lives, but the lives of everyone else around them.
Because I feel SO strongly that a woman who can get out of survival mode, away from her conditioning, away from living by what she “should” do–a woman who starts living by her OWN values, in the drivers seat of her own life–is a woman who can uplift entire communities and truly change the world.
(If we're trying to build the matriarchy, and raise kids who are free from people pleasing, who know how to prioritize themselves, and who move through the world knowing exactly who they are, we've got to start with ourselves, you know?)
One group of women for whom this is particularly difficult?!
Mothers.
GAH. For so many reasons!
And since the moment I peed on that pregnancy test stick, I felt SO many things, obviously–excitement being one of them, but also this looming sense of impending dread because the examples I saw of motherhood everywhere looked like self-sacrifice, no time for yourself, goodbye to your hobbies, interests.
There is a subtle yet pervasive belief we operate from that says once that baby is born, you take a backseat in your own life–that 'selfless' is the core virtue we should strive for.
The absence of self in motherhood is not only normalized, it is packaged, and sold to us as the leading definition of love.
Since those early days of pregnancy, I have rebuked this “selfless” lie with every fiber of my being, and embarked on a personal quest:
How can I reject the “good mom” pressure society puts on me and make motherhood absolutely 100% my own?
How can I take my agency back when society has conditioned us to think it isn’t possible?
How can I be SO rooted in my own values, SO aware of my own conditioning, that nothing is stronger than my own internal compass?
How can I make motherhood fun, present, joyful, and magical–for me AND my kid– and despite how hard it is?
Where I can give mom guilt (and people pleasing!!) the middle finger with full-bodied, unbothered, breezy confidence?
So I have slowly, behind the scenes, for past five years (how do I have an almost five year old? 😭) been figuring out how to live and embody this in my own life–inside of motherhood– sharing bits and pieces of what I’m learning along the way.
For someone who never envisioned “motherhood” taking a center stage in her content (LOL) I found myself constantly discussing the topic of motherhood in my dms.
It quickly became clear to me that I was not alone in my desire for a different kind of motherhood than what we see represented in our day to day society.
One where life looks good on paper but survival mode is the norm, where women are running on autopilot. Subsisting on their third cup of (lukewarm) coffee and fumes. Secretly wondering…
”Is this really it? Why does the life I thought I wanted feel SO DRAINING and not remotely FUN? Isn’t life supposed to be fun!?”
The problem is–that this is not a surface-level problem that is easy to solve alone.
Most moms think they just “need more self-care,” or “better boundaries” or they just have to “gut it out through this crazy phase until the kids are older.”
When in reality? It’s so much more than that.
What I've landed on is this: the difference between a motherhood experience that feels like survival mode–a life where your own joy and needs have taken a backseat–and a motherhood that actually works for you, that doesn't swallow you up?
It comes down to the foundation your life is built on.
And I have spent years discussing this topic with hundreds (thousands?) of moms, researching, and writing down everything I've done to build one that feels authentically mine, that isn't lived according to someone else's expectations, what a “good” mom does, that doesn't include people pleasing, that is genuinely, actually designed by me.
Readers often say that I should write a book on motherhood. 🥹(“Go on 💁🏻♀️”–I say, because *best compliment ever*) so while I can’t say I’ve written the book YET–I have been working on something even more helpful.
Behind the scenes, I’ve been breaking my philosophy down into a curriculum–a framework, so I can help other moms do what I did–design their lives to work for them–on their own terms (no people pleasing!)–inside of motherhood. The same way I’ve designed mine.
THIS is what I wish had existed when I was pregnant and spiraling about how I didn’t want “my life to end” like I had seen happen to so many other moms out there.
Now, I’m looking for a small group of women to be my first beta clients. ✨ The beta round will consist of two 1:1 calls that take place over the next two weeks. (Application link below!)
At some point, your life has started feeling a lot more about everybody else and no longer about you.
Life feels like a lot more managing, surviving, or running on autopilot than actually living. Your days are so full you are just trying to keep your head above water. There is not much left for you. (Except for Target runs, those count as self care, right?)
You are revenge bed timing on the regular–AKA staying up way too late– because it is the only time nobody needs you! (The proverbial dried up PB&J crusts of time!) It is a cycle that keeps you running on empty.
You have a life you are grateful for, everything you thought you wanted on paper, and still catch yourself thinking, “surely there has to be more to life?”
You keep trying to fix it with better routines, more self care, more boundaries, but nothing actually changes.
You love your kids. You love being a mom. But if you are being honest, you really miss enjoying your own damn life!
You’re probably thinking something like…
“It’s just a phase, it’ll get better when the kids are older”
“It is what it is. Motherhood is just hard. And a lot of it just sucks!”
“I’ll miss this someday! I need to be more grateful!”
And the old sneaky….
“It’s worth it because I love my kids so much and I’m giving them what they need.”
But if you’re honest, you know this isn’t really working for you.
Not because you need to burn your life down!
Not because you don’t love your kids!
But because you want your life to feel like it belongs to you again.
You have this underlying fear of losing yourself in motherhood–your freedom, and the parts of your life you love, because everywhere you look, it feels unavoidable!
You keep thinking, “why is there ENDLESS information out there on how to take care of a baby, yet very little on how to take care of ME or ENJOY MY LIFE when I become a mother?!”
You don’t want to just “figure it out as you go” and hope for the best. 👀
You want to go into this with a real plan. One that actually takes your vision for your life into account and helps you stay connected to yourself through this transition.
This work is one part practical life design, and one part deeply personal inner work. Because the life you want (and deserve) isn’t just a logistics problem.
We could get crystal clear only on your values and the changes you need to make… and it might make some difference, but not enough. Why? Because if the way you think, what you believe, and how you show up with your actions hasn’t shifted, nothing actually changes.
Your personal values and beliefs are the filter you use to see the world. They are the foundation, the blueprints our lives are built on. Your beliefs inform your thoughts, and your thoughts inform your behavior.
Which is why you cannot change your life with the same thoughts and beliefs that built the life that isn’t serving you. Yet most of us are so busy, we never stop to look at our values and beliefs. And we cannot change something we cannot see.
So what do we do? Together, we’ll deep dive into your values, your time, your energy, your decisions, and the thoughts and beliefs shaping all of it, so you can start thinking, acting, and making decisions like the version of you who actually lives that life. Right now!
2 x 1:1 sessions with me
An intake questionnaire + values assessment before we meet, so we can jump straight in.
Reflection exercises between sessions to help make the most of our time together + give you tools you can keep using long after we’re done.
Our work together will focus on two things:
For current moms: we’ll look honestly at your values, your beliefs, and where your life is currently out of alignment with both, and what’s actually driving that.
For expecting moms: we'll get clear on your values and the beliefs you're already carrying, look honestly at where your life might already be out of alignment without you realizing it, and where motherhood is most likely to pull you even further off course if you don't plan for it now.
We'll get crystal clear on what fills you up vs. drains you, then take immediate, practical steps to weave more of what lights you up into your real life, and figure out what to shift, delegate, outsource, or creatively problem solve for everything that doesn't. (Whether this is your current life, the new chapter of motherhood you’ll be stepping into, or both!)
Identify and rewrite any unsupportive beliefs underneath the patterns that have been running the show, so you can unlock the life that feels a hell of a lot better.
Walk away with practical, concrete shifts you can make immediately to get your life closer to what you actually want.
Learn how to catch your thoughts in real time moving forward, and make decisions that align with who you actually want to be and how you want your life to feel.
We’ll focus on getting you real shifts, real problem-solving skills, and real movement, so your life can start feeling different right now, OR so you can step into motherhood feeling clear, grounded, and intentional from the start.
In fact, I am so confident in this work (because I have lived it myself), that you have my word–if you bring your whole self to both sessions, complete the pre-work and homework, and don't feel a meaningful shift, I'll refund your money.
(note: you’ll purchase the $30 values assessment separately!)
Because this is a beta round, I’ll also ask you for a testimonial afterward if you get value from the experience. ♥️
If either sound like you, I would genuinely love to help.
I’ll be selecting a small group of women for this first beta round and will be in touch with next steps! (Also, everyone who applies will be added to my VIP list to know more when I release more spots!) 👇🏼
I’m so excited to work with you!!
xoxo
Jess
P.S. Have a friend who might be interested? Feel free to share it with them below!
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