Repercussions

A reminder about the Creature Lounge rules, and the consequences of breaking them.

1. Be polite

2. No sudden movements

3. Do NOT look Frank in the eye

4. Keep all of your limbs to yourself, unless invited

5. Tip the bartenders

Despite the monstrous forms of the patrons in the Creature Lounge, everyone just wants to have a pleasant time. The bartenders are particularly diligent about maintaining a welcoming and relaxing environment for all. The bouncer at the door has no problem keeping people in line. However, they can’t control everyone’s actions. Sometimes an asshole or two make an appearance. In which case, the staff on shift will head to the back office, take a gilded skeleton key from the desk, and unlock the safe. Inside is an aged velvet bag, worn with time and salty weather. Depending on the offense, there are a variety of cursed gold coins that may end up in a drunken jerk’s pocket.

“Weak Wi-Fi”
Good luck ever finding a strong Wi-Fi signal as long as this coin is in your possession. It doesn’t matter which device you are using, or how often you turn the router off and back on again. Your internet will be slow. Think early Nineties era slow, minus the screech of dial-up. Instead, it shall be you who is screaming.

“Stub Your Toe”
Your toes shall never be safe if this coin falls into your grasp. A furniture leg, the corner of a wall, a slight shift in the angle of the floor. The little piggies will be damaged. You can try wearing only closed toed shoes, but at some point you have to take them off.

“Bad Hair Everyday”
Do you remember your last good hair day? Well, forget it. Because it won't ever happen again. In fact, your hair will be the bane of your existence until you get rid of this coin.

“Elusive Beeping”
What is that mysterious beeping noise? The oven? Someone’s phone? A dying carbon monoxide detector? Who knows! You sure don’t. And you never will. Chucking this coin will stop the beeping, but not reveal the source.

“Spoiler Alert!”
If you love any form of storytelling (show, film, book, video game, etc) pray you never come across this coin. There is no plot twist, character death, or finale that will remain unknown to you. The spoilers will come at any moment, when you least expect them. You have been warned.

“Baño Ocupado”
This coin is particularly cruel. Get used to going before leaving home. Because for you there will always be a line for any public toilet. Hopefully you never have a bathroom emergency while out and about.

“No Sleep”
Anyone suffering from insomnia can attest how awful it can be. Lying awake, staring at the ceiling while the hours pass. You shall have no respite. Tea, melatonin, prescription drugs are all useless in the face of this coin. Your offense must have been pretty bad for this coin to be laid upon you.

“Plant Plague”
Any plant in your vicinity will wither and rot. This means your house plants, your landscaped yard, the flowers from your beloved, the fruit from the farmers market, the herbs and spices in your kitchen, the frozen veggies in your freezer, the trees on your route to work or school, the list goes on. You are a walking plague now. Repent and return this coin if you want any green space or food ever again.

“FRANK”
You looked Frank in the eye?! We told you not to! Now, look at what’s happened! Honestly this curse is too awful to describe. Please, don’t ask about it again.

So remember when you are visiting the Creature Lounge to simply follow the rules. They are there for your benefit. Especially rule number 3!

Thank you for dropping by,
Jessi, the Curator