What an Anthurium Taught Me

Today’s Soft Nudge is an excerpt from my forthcoming book. Enjoy!

Symbol: An elegant mermaid, with her nautical compass, reflects on herself. The compass is an instrument of precision; a GPS for the sea. At sea, the captain is constantly dialoguing with it, reading information, adjusting course; even the mermaid knows her magical discovery depends on the direction the captain steers the ship.

When we are out of alignment, we may fall into a foggy habit of being unclear or imprecise about areas of life needing adjustment. Perhaps we convince ourselves we cannot, or should not, make the changes our Soul desires. Yet alignment is not a mythical sea creature; it is your Soul’s guiding treasure. It relies on both honesty and intuitive discernment. Drop into your inner knowing about what feels exquisitely true for you in this moment, notice what specifically needs adjustment, and trust your sense of alignment as your guiding light. When you live in alignment, life orchestrates itself in miraculous ways.

—Alignment card, Intuitive Energy Divination Deck

Clarify what feels right and true for you.

It’s early morning, and my head is swirling with thoughts. My to-do list feels demanding, and I yearn for a pleasurable creative project, while nothing comes to mind. When my creativity is in bloom, it’s the height of summer inside of me; so much calls to me that it’s hard to choose. Yet when it’s winter, my creativity freezes. I’ve just experienced that winter.

Today marks the beginning of spring, and I feel tender shoots rising, though vague and scattered. I’m not fully here yet. Deciding which thing to focus on seems impossible without taking the question radically elsewhere, first. To get back into balance, I must drop out of my mind and re-center into what I truly feel.

From my office window, I notice a single red anthurium flower. She arrived months ago, quietly wedging herself between ferns and spider plants, so subtle we barely noticed her. I don’t know how she got here. Much of Hawaii’s wildlife arrives by chance, a bird might’ve dropped her while building a nest, and somehow she found the perfect environment to grow.

As I wonder how this happy anthurium landed in the exact right spot to thrive and consider the idea of alignment. Alignment, or being in harmony with your authentic self, is a process of making wise, discerning choices that reflect your truths and joys. It’s dynamic, requiring regular adjustments to ensure your outer life resonates with who you’re becoming inside. Maybe the bird had the coordinates, or the wind knew exactly where to carry her. It’s no different for me.

I’ve landed in my sweet spot, too. How? By stubbornly listening to my authentic self and refusing to settle for places that no longer afforded growth or joy. Once I knew that San Francisco was no longer in alignment with me, I honored that knowing. With a gust of wind, a big bird, and a bit of magic, it seemed the Universe conspired to help us set down roots here in Hawaii.

The move itself was easy. The harder part? Weathering the discomfort of leaving behind two decades of friendships. Differences grew pronounced, and conversations felt tedious. Nothing was wrong with those relationships, but they were like daffodils needing a specific climate, while I was becoming a Hawaiian hibiscus, or anthurium. It soon became clear: we would no longer grow together.

Major realignment means letting go of what no longer works and allowing life to rearrange itself. Saying goodbye to old friendships felt sad, much like pruning a flowering bush or fruit tree. Yet pruning, however illogical it seems, eventually leads to vibrancy. Once shy to bloom, the bush turns hearty and abundant, and authentic new relationships flourished in this way for me, too. To date, it’s taken six years to make a few new friends, and I’m surprisingly okay with this. Deeply inwardly connected, I rarely feel alone. Plus, nature is a peaceful friend.

Struggle happens when you go against the grain of who you are. By contrast, life simplifies when you live in alignment. Hawaii’s abundance and aloha spirit constantly remind me that thriving doesn’t require effort-ing. Surrounded by palms, flowers, fruits, and good-hearted people, you can’t help but think and feel this way.

I marvel at how Hawaii’s ecosystem flourishes when nurtured and diverse. Hosting many non-native birds, trees, and flowers (arriving as transplants, like me), Hawaii is incredibly resilient, perhaps because of this diversity.

My marriage is similar. John is a physicist; I’m an astrologer. As different as night and day, our unique quirks enrich the ecosystem of us. John jokes that he wakes up to a different woman each morning. I love this. By supporting one another’s authenticity, we make the whole of our relationship vibrant, adaptive, and full of possibility.

Suddenly, springtime inspires hope and movement. I decide to visit the garden center and purchase more anthuriums in candy reds and deep purples. They are so small, elfin-like. I plant them near our new visitor, close to Hawaiian ferns and lava rock. It still amazes me how tropical plants thrive in mineral-rich, porous rock.

People are as unique as flowers. We all need different things to grow, but one constant remains: to keep expanding, we must periodically rebalance. Alignment, like tending a garden, demands regular care, ensuring our choices stay in step with the person we’re continually becoming while nurturing the ecosystems that help us thrive.

Simple Exercise:

Look outside your window, into nature. Notice what’s thriving. How can you tell? Color, vibrancy, proliferation, life force? It’s thriving because it’s in alignment with its ecosystem. Now observe what isn’t doing well. Set the intention to get curious about why.