Imperfect Easters & lost keys

Our Easter Sunday began in an all-too-typical whirl of stress as we brushed through kids’ tangled hair, reminded them to eat their eggs for the thousandth time, and told our devastated 6-year-old son that no, you cannot in fact wear that red jersey with orange trousers to church. On Easter.

It was a “Hurry up and grab your shoes so we can go celebrate our Lord!” kind of morning. (We really started the day off strong over here as the good, Jesus-loving missionaries that we are.) “O Praise the Name” tends to hit the hardest after a well-timed familial argument, wouldn’t you agree?

My husband and I unfortunately continued the day in frustration toward each other as we rushed from church to home to the next celebration.

But of course, the sanctification process didn’t stop there. In typical me fashion, I realized I had lost one set of our keys some time after church, providing full possible access to both our home and car for whichever lucky recipient discovered them first (Taylor imagined both possibilities as we went to sleep that night). The last place I remembered placing them was on the hood of the car before we left—in said car—quickly after that to our friends’ house for Easter lunch.

As the sun sank down, we strapped on headlamps and frantically checked the driveway and up and down our streets. No where. All over the yard. Nope. Searched the whole house top to bottom for at least an hour, including the inside of the fridge (of course we didn’t learn that from previous experience…).

Nada. No keys.

Our Easter evening concluded with a quiet cloud of worry, feelings of failure, and a heavily bolted front door.

Having given up almost all hope of finding that sad, lost ring of steel, the next day the four of us drove down the same street we had taken the day before.

“Not gonna lie, I’ve been praying God would miraculously help us find them,” Taylor admitted out of the blue. I sank further in on myself in guilt, having been afraid to even ask for the same because, after all, it was my fault. I should have done better.

Seconds later, however, as we approached the first of many upcoming speed bumps, I had an inkling of a thought.

“Babe, what if the keys fell off at this speed bump? Please, let’s stop and ask the guards here [do you hear my inner pleading?]. What would it hurt?”

I KID YOU NOT, George and George (yup, both of the guards’ names) went to the back of our car to check our plates, told us they had seen our keys fly off of the hood after the speed bump, and then to our still utter disbelief, retrieved those glorious clanging pieces of metal and handed them over as if it was no big deal. LITTLE DID THEY KNOW.

Well, we all about lost our ever-loving minds.

“GOD DID THAT!” “DADDY, JESUS ANSWERED YOUR PRAYER!” “He seriously cares about keys?!” “I can’t believe this. For real, I can’t believe this!”

Our reactions could not stop.

Y’all, let me remind you that this is coming from a Nairobi hustle culture that will quite literally remove your sideview mirrors off your car, as you’re driving it, in order to make a shilling. I even removed the steel frame our house number tiles were in because I knew someone would take the steel. Yet these men, who barely make enough to survive on and could have pawned off the keys for a little extra bread or chai, kept them and looked out for us.

We were in awe at our God who sees us and “seriously cares about keys” the rest of the week.

I don’t necessarily have a grand conclusion with sharing this story. Let’s be honest, it doesn’t always happen this way. The following couple of weeks have come with plenty more hardships and seemingly unanswered prayers, from continued injured knees to really hard adoption calls. And also yes, sometimes the goodness of the Lord meets us on an Easter Sunday morning in beautifully-curated worship music, compelling preaching, or empty tomb crafts.

But also—sometimes—He meets us in arguments and lost/miraculously found keys.

Often, at least from what I’ve found in my own walk, those can be the moments that draw our hearts to Him the most—when we enter His presence at the end of ourselves in desperation.

So friends, here’s to a week of eyes-wide-open kind of faith filled with outlandish and humble requests (and actually believing He loves us enough to meet us there), whether He brings us to the keys or not.

The process of walking hand in hand with Him through the search is often what we actually need, after all.

(But also, I like knowing where my keys are too.)

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I haven’t been writing as much as I would like lately, and I often feel like I’m failing in some type of way because of that. But then I’m reminded of the wonderfully mundane and beautiful life I’m living, and the Lord in His grace reminds me that there is a season for everything.

One of those big life things for us right now is our adoption. If you haven’t seen on my Instagram, we FINALLY received a court date of June 4th to officially adopt Candice! We leave May 11th.

My time has been filled with ministry, all the mom things, finding lost keys (haha), taking care of new puppies, hurt knees and doctor’s appointments, preparing to possibly be in Malawi for three months or longer, and for our family to change forever.

I’m therefore not taking as much time to write, and that’s ok. I am finite and limited, and I’m currently trying to remember that and rest in the Lord’s strength rather than on my own. Whew, that one’s a doozy.

Maybe you’re feeling similar pressure or shame as well. You want to be able to do more. To be more. I wish we could look each other square in the eyes and emphatically say, “THE LORD DOES NOT SPEAK THROUGH SHAME.” But maybe this is the pause you need to take inventory of all that the Lord has currently entrusted you with and how He is already using you. As the eloquence of Hamilton always sums up better than I can, “Look around, look around” (sorry, I can’t help it. There’s always a line!). If you’re anything like me, God tends to be more gracious on us than we are on ourselves.

Where is He seeking to grow you and challenge you? Where is He asking you to continue walking in obedience? Where do you perhaps need to step away and allow someone else to use their gifts so that you can give more fully somewhere else?

Where are you walking in burden rather than invitation from the Creator and Sustainer of all things? For me, my desire to DO ALL THE THINGS has actually been weighing me down so much that I have just been getting through it all rather than seeking the Lord’s heart in each area.

I know the writing will come even though it’s currently taken a back seat. The Lord is not in a stressed-out rush, and I don’t want to be either.

Dear brothers and sisters, may we continue in faithfulness wherever we are, but spurred on by the love of Christ rather than our own inner critics. What joy and freedom there is to pursue all He has for us, in its due time, when living with that foundation!

My friend and fellow writer just sent me a picture of an article I had published in Truly Co.’s most recent semi-annual publication. She told me she got the magazine to see my piece! My goodness, what a gift that was to me to read of her support. People can be so ridiculously kind!

To order a physical copy of this Truly Co. Belong Issue, visit their website here.