Nietzsche's Favorite Lip Gloss

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Hello and welcome to another edition of THE DON’T BUY LIST! I stepped into my general practitioner’s office to renew my Prozac prescription last week and was greeted by a Shaq-sized promo for a chemical peel promising to “soften fine lines and wrinkles.”

I fear the Prozac is not enough. Anyway! Onto the links…

IN THIS ISSUE: Beautifying the void! Hand-lifts! Smoker’s nails! Oil-absorbing sheets! Two new brands named Fipl and FVRTS! Calcium skincare! Would dying from salmon sperm injections be embarrassing? Are botched surgeries entertaining? Accidental Botox! Hair-braiding robots! Caroline Calloway! SPF to firm 14-year-old butts! & more!

Microtrend to watch: The Void. I’ve encountered at least three new lip glosses with names that reference the existential emptiness of the abyss lately:

• Experiment Softwear Exfoliating and Hydrating Daily Lip Treatment in Void

• MOB Peptide Drench Cushion Lip Gloss in The Void

• Exist Spacelip in VOID [000] (featuring a “patent-pending Space Grown Hydration Complex [that] was cultivated aboard the International Space Station” and “brought back to Earth to redefine what lip care can achieve”)

Why paint the gaping maw of your mouth with a gloss that recalls the gaping maw of eternity? To “rediscover how to exist,” according to Exist. (Of course!) It reminds me of the Nietzsche quote, “Man would sooner have the void for his purpose than be void of purpose.” In other words…

I was a guest on a recent episode of the Ladies, We Need To Talk podcast with host Yumi Stynes. Our conversation covers Clavicular, cadaver fat injectables, skincare for kids, and so much more. Listen here.

Told ya the hand-lift was coming. Last week, the legendary Marisa Meltzer asked, “So You Got a Face Lift. What Are You Gonna Do About Your Hands?” for Vanity Fair.

Could nicotine-stained fingernails be the next big cigarette-inspired trend in beauty?