Reading · Dreamweaver ❤️‍🔥

I believe that a huge part of moving towards the creation, embodiment & living our dreams rests in the realisation, acknowledgement, integration & healing of the many different fragmented parts of ourselves…

These parts that tend to occupy sometime huge amounts of psychic bandwidth & can create a whole host of undesirable circumstances within our lives often mirroring the dynamics that are going on within us

The more down this path of healing I tread, the more I am reminded of how much (if not all) of it is an inner game & that if I can see a difficult situation arise externally in my life then I can bet my bottom dollar that it’s happening on some degree within me

So using the clues of the external we can begin to unravel those pockets of ourselves that need the acknowledgment, love & integration they crave to bring wholeness to the psyche, wholeness to the Self

This is the start of a 3 parter unpacking the Drama Triangle - a fascinating dynamic between 3 parts of ourselves that tend to cause a lot of issues, & well - Drama! - through the lense of Eastenders & LOTR whilst giving some reflections for you if you identify that this is creating problems in your life

In the second part i’ll be sharing my own story & challenges with the Drama Triangle over multiple years & how it caused a lot of pain & suffering & within it the potential of deep healing

In the third part i’ll be sharing Paul Chek’s model of the 4 Stages Of Love & how we can work with the Drama Triangle as one of the many paths towards our liberation through love 💚

Drama In The Queen Vic!

The Drama Triangle - A poisonous dynamic comprising of the roles of Victim, Persecutor & Rescuer that robs us of our agency, our energy & our dreams through trapping us in power dynamics.
On the flipside the triangle also fulfils an extremely important & necessary role of pain generation leading to (hopefully) an expansion within our individual & collective consciousness, serving as a potential progression & avenue towards experiencing deeper levels of love & wholeness of Self.

So - What exactly is this Drama Triangle? Well, it is comprised of 3 roles;

The Victim/Masochist - The one who suffers in disempowerment at the hands of;

The Persecutor/Sadist - The one who inflicts the suffering & persecution onto the victim

& The Rescuer - The one who steps in to rescue the victim BUT not in a noble & empowering sense - such as a firefighter rescuing someone trapped in a burning building - The rescuer rescues to serve themselves & is in manipulation of the victim

This could be in the form of receiving an emotional pay off or gratification or to further manipulate the Victim to their own ends, therefore flipping into the role of the Persecutor in turn - more on the flips later…

The best example of this in play I can think of is our Blightily beloved Eastenders - Number 1 soap opera in the UK centering around the Drama Triangle generated trials & tribulations of the residents of Walford in the East End of London;

So Eastenders (& most other soaps) survive & thrive on the Drama Triangle - which creates - the drama!

It is an endless cycle of victim - persecutor - rescuer spanning 40 years of airtime as a super popular show - giving credence to our addiction to pain, suffering & gossip in our lives

It’s always the same - Unhinged persecutor victimises victim, victim suffers, manipulative rescuer comes to the aid, lots of shouting, threats, pint throws & ‘You Eard!s’, in a plot twist the roles switch in some way, now with the victim persecuting someone else, rescuer gets caught in bed with the persecutor, it escalates & someone dies on the Christmas special

Now I love to hate this absolute tosh of a show (Why? - Because i’ve been hating the dynamic within myself - My goal is to laugh at it 😂) BUT I will say that whilst I believe it is programming the UK populace with some extremely negative ideas that probably then serves to further propagate the triangle in their lives it does on occasion bring light to some very serious topics that need addressing;

I remmeber watching it when I was a kid when there was a powerful domestic abuse arc (Trevor & Little Mo) that highlighted a lot of this terrible shadow & thankfully resulted in many women suffering from domestic abuse breaking the chains of the triangle at it’s extreme & leave dangerous & abusive relationships which is categorically a very good thing

By & large though I believe the majority of the rest of it is not very helpful to the viewer & as I believe, is downloading Drama Triangle consciousness into the minds of the nation

As well as the mainstream news if you analyse it through this lense - Always an aggressor, always a victim, always aid & rescue - & so it continues leaving the viewer in a place of fear & dysregulation

It would seem that The Drama Triangle runs the East End, not Phil & Grant!

& in observation as well Walford does not seem like the most fertile environment for dream creation…

“You, me & the baby” - Phil Mitchell

The East End Of Middle Earth…

I frickin love Lord Of The Rings with a burning passion hotter than the fires of Mt Doom & love to draw inspiration & learnings from the many amazing archetypal themes within it!

The journey of Frodo, Sam & Gollum being is an incredible portrayal of the Drama Triangle at work, particularly in how it flips around continually which i’ll break down below;

***Here’s where I crowbar in my archetypal analysis of Gandalf’s descent into the shadow, battle with the Balrog (A demon of the ancient world), his purification & subsequent transformation into Gandalf The White 😆 ***

So as a background - Frodo & Sam have broken from the Fellowship Of The Ring & are journeying through mountainous wastes of the Emyn Muil on the outskirts of Mordor where they seek to journey to throw the evil one ring representing power, dominance, possession, control & persecutor energies into the fires of Mount Doom & save Middle Earth from tyranny & oppression of the dark lord Sauron

They are lost & encounter Gollum who has been hunting them trying to reclaim the ring that ruined him & split his psyche in two (For the purpose of this article I won’t be going into the Gollum/Smeagol split too deeply as it’s a juicy one for later). Gollum finds them & attacks them trying to get the ring back

***Spoiler Alert - If you have not watched or read LOTR please, for your sake do not read any further, get the extended editions & binge the whole thing with hot chocolate & snacks - you can thank me laters 😂***

Ok SO - to plant a seed for this section I invite you to gently open yourself to the possibility that these dynamics may potentially be at play within you or within different relationships you may be connected with

If anything from the breakdown rings or resonates then could be a shout to note it down;

Gollum attacks Frodo & Sam as the Persecutor & ends up strangling Sam, now flipped to the Victim, Frodo comes in as the rescuer with Sting & threatens him becoming the persecutor of Gollum with Gollum now being the victim in captive by the hobbits

They are then journeying through the wastes with Gollum being very vocal about being the poor hard done by victim, Sam starts to grumble becoming persecutor of Gollum, Frodo flips to rescuer, defending Gollum from Sam’s grumbling/persecution

There is somewhat of a neutralisation of the dynamic when Frodo decides to trust Gollum - Gollum improves in his demeanour with this trust with a glimpse of the uncorrupted self (Smeagol) coming back through standing up to his inner persecutor (Gollum) - This is very potent as Smeagol is actually disrupting his inner triangle by standing up to Gollum which took a lot of strength & courage

The trust & love felt is a redeeming factor creating freedom for Frodo & Gollum whilst Sam still maintains the triangle through his persecutory (of Gollum) & rescuing (of Frodo) grumbling

The hobbits are captured by men of Gondor with the men about to kill Gollum at the Forbidden Pool, Frodo steps in & stops them (now as the Rescuer), Gollum is captured & feels betrayed by Frodo

Trust is shattered, Gollum goes straight back to deep Victim, the pendulum swings the other way & Gollum goes full Persecutor, planning their death at the hands of a giant spider in the mountains but masquerades as the Rescuer in order to manipulate them to his own devices

On the way up into the mountains Frodo is deteriorating - Gollum sets up a situation in which it looks like Sam ate their food showcasing him as Perpetrator, with Frodo being Victim due to having no food

Frodo flips to Persecutor of Sam & dismisses him, now in the Victim, Gollum is there waiting as planned as the manipulating Rescuer, delivering Frodo into the hands of Shelob, a massive spider therefore becoming the Persecutor, Frodo as Victim with Sam coming back in as the Rescuer

There is more but you get the picture!

It is interesting from the perspective of our dreams how the longer this dynamic was suffered by Frodo & Sam, the more their lifeforce energy drained & the further away the dream of destroying the ring became until they nearly died for it to come to pass…

This dynamic is everywhere in our society!

With there being a chance it may also be colonised in ourselves leading to a lot of pain & suffering - which ain’t very much fun - unless you’re into that kinda thang ;)

“We told him to go away... and away he goes, Precious! Gone, gone, gone! SMEAGOL IS FREE!” - Smeagol

Triangulation Reflection

The drama triangle is ultimately disempowering for all parties involved as it circulates around victim consciousness which inherantly applies a ‘power over’ dynamic removing sovereignty of the Victim.

We can see the Victim as a ‘Survival Archetype’ - an archetype that we all have that we fall into or enact when we lack more empowering tools to navigate stressful & difficult life situations.

It is not the best tool for our self empowerment but is A tool to get through the situation - when enacted consciously it can be used to gain the necessary support from others.

But leaves us trapped, depleted, disempowered & therefore in the game of power dynamics until we can move out of it through the awareness brought by the pain of the triangle.

Now my question to you reader - Does any of this ring? Have you seen or can remember or maybe can think of this dynamic being alive right now?

If so, here are some reflective questions to foster awareness around the topic;

Where in my life do I notice patterns of victim, persecutor, or rescuer dynamics with self or other?
When I feel drained, frustrated, or caught in drama, which part of the Drama Triangle might be active?
Might my relationships mirror unresolved dynamics within myself & if so, how?
When I see someone else in a “victim” or “rescuer” role, how might I be unconsciously participating in the dynamic?
Are there moments when I feel compelled to rescue or control that actually disempower both myself and others?
How might freeing myself from these patterns open up more space and energy for my dreams?

Feel free to post below! :)

Drama Triangle Dream Killer - Part I

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