The Lies We Tell Ourselves

"Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. The very cave you fear to enter turns out to be the source of what you are looking for."

- Joseph Campbell

I found it a bit funny and serendipitous that I’m getting ready to participate in a free writing workshop this next week with One Brilliant Arc (OBA), and this was the topic: The Lie Your Character Believes.

As I sat with the topic and how it related to my own writing and characters in Woven in Time, I realized something. It’s exactly this uniquely human trait, whether I like it or not, that makes really believable characters. Why? Because as humans, we all have lies we tell ourselves that we believe are true about life.

And I just caught myself in one.

I don’t mean lies that are easily disputable or disproven with obvious facts. I’m talking about lies that exist in our subconscious mind. Whether they’re as small as an annoying habit or as big as a learned experience from childhood, these unconscious worldviews—true or not—shape how we see the world and what we believe.

However, there are moments when these beliefs get challenged by life.

If you’re going through life on auto-pilot, sometimes it’s easy to dismiss this or possibly not even notice. Especially if the lie you’ve told yourself is so convincing, and for most of your life has proven true. I’ll give you an example for me. I grew up poor. But also middle-class. For most of my childhood, I saw my parents working, but struggling to make ends meet. That said to my kid-brain was: you have to work hard for what little money you have. What that transformed into as an adult was the reality of not valuing my worth, and often working so hard, regardless of what I was being paid. I just thought that was life. Life equaled hard work, period.

Now compare that to someone who grows up with a trust fund or inherited money. They might see work as optional, and that money comes easily and effortlessly to them.

Both are real world examples.

Both can be true.

However, both can also be lies.

Our world is full of nearly unlimited possibilities. Our human brains just have an annoying way of filtering out what doesn’t match what we already know.

This is where the tricky part comes in. Because my worldview is such an ingrained view of money and work, I could come across an opportunity that would pay me well, and I might think it sounds too good to be true. Or I might not price my time as an author coach too low because I think I need to work hard for my money.

Because both conflict with my internal belief.

To challenge that, I might need little reminders from life—from the universe—that show me there’s another way possible. Another truth to be discovered. But you have to be open enough, aware enough, to receive a message that conflicts with your current reality, and be willing to stretch your imagination a little to see a new way forward.

That brings me to today.

I caught myself in a new lie.

About six months ago, I published Woven in Time. For the previous year before that, I had been writing here on Substack, building a community of fellow writers, and fell in love with the platform and all you wonderful people who cheered me on toward my publishing launch and dreams.

But then my book was out in the world.

And something shifted.

I told myself that I needed to go wide. That I needed to reach a larger audience on Instagram and Facebook, if I ever hoped for my book to go big. So, I started posting my content on my other platforms. And my Substack articles dropped off. I couldn’t keep up with it all. And then after not posting for a few months, I worried I had become irrelevant here. I had lost my subscribers. No one would want to hear from me after so many months off.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

But my brain had convinced me. So I stayed away. Until today.

So maybe I will lose some subscribers. But maybe I’ll gain some new ones. And maybe I took some time off. But every moment of every day is a new one. Maybe I lied to myself for awhile. Now I’m back.

It all can be true. We as the authors and main characters of our own lives get to decide what that next moment looks like.

And it’s all part of being a beautifully flawed human.

Myself included!

Which brings me to my invitation to the fiction writers reading this. As you’re thinking about the stories and the characters you create, ask yourself these questions:

• What lies do your characters believe?

• What confronts or challenges that belief in their story?

• How do they grow as a character if and when their belief changes?

If you aren’t answering these questions throughout your story, or unsure if you are, you’re missing a key component to good storytelling. The lie your character believes is a pivotal piece of good character development and help develops the arc that your character takes along their journey. It makes for a fully fleshed out character that feels believable to a reader.

For a great article on this, check out the 10 Reasons Your Protagonist’s Arc Isn’t Working. Or just register for this FREE workshop hosted by One Brilliant Arc (OBA) and myself about The Lie Your Characters Believe and creating stronger character arcs and complex characters that resonate with readers.

You can register here: https://onebrilliantarc.com/workshop-july-18

Even if you can’t make it to the live workshop, you will be sent the recording after to watch at a later time. I hope you can make it!

As always, keep dreaming.

Keep writing.

With Love,

Jess

P.S. don’t forget to give yourself some grace when dismantling those lies that hold us back.