ICYMI: Come write with me! We recently launched a No Country for Old Women writing group with daily writing hours! I’m leading several sessions a week at an array of different times (working on my new book while I do) and will be offering workshops on topics like writing book proposals soon.
Next to the desk in the small room I call my office, there’s both a sad, irredeemably dying plant and a bright, robust, thriving one. I realized this morning they’re a perfect metaphor for the moment I’m (we’re all?) in; somewhere in the space between them is where my brain currently resides.
I find myself constantly swinging between bouncy hope and bleak despair, confidence and diffidence, a firm desire to run at everything I want and uncertainty over where to even take the next step.
Direction is all about framing, but in the bardo of a big life change, our thoughts are often too fuzzy to form a line.
The last time I was laid off was eight years ago. The algorithm didn’t yet know how precisely to clench us in its jaws. Now I’m gnashed daily with #lifeafterlayoff go-getters, newfangled-apocalypse girlbosses building entire empires spilling their AI-generated life-success secrets, one straight-to-camera Reel at a time.
It’s unnerving to be as old as I am and feel this unsure; still, I know I don’t want what they’re having. After a certain number of circles around the sun, most of us know better than to attempt success-cosplay as a path to contentment or emotional ease.
Social media bombards us with mundane fixes for what (minorly) ails us in times like these, and I’ve been doing all the boring recommended things to shake myself loose of the pall. I’ve been to the gym every day for the last 23. I found the best arch-supporting socks in which to run and can now keep up a jog for 30 full minutes, longer than I ever have before. I’m lifting weights while listening to the world’s most haphazard playlists, trying to break free of my ruts. I crave clarity but recognize that all the moment requires is a body in motion; to just keep moving until you find the next place that’s warm.
In the meantime, send me your favorite workout songs? I’m looking for a new soundtrack to accompany me on the ride.
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