Everything Goes My Way...Even When It Doesn't

I’m so glad you’re here!

I frequently get asked how I write so many books. I wish I could say that it was inspiration or an overactive muse, but the truth of it is, I define myself by struggle. Yeah, there’s a whole lot to unbox there, I know, and it took me a really long time to figure it out and I’m still working on it. That being said…

I remember the day I had my struggle epiphany. I was remodeling my kitchen…

Me with manic remodel face — but don’t those lower cabinets look great?

A brief aside: Yes, a remodeled kitchen all by myself. I mean why would I make it easy on myself and ask for help or hire someone? See? Struggle!

Anyway, I was remodeling my kitchen, and I couldn't seem to get it finished. We’re talking YEARS of chipping away at this DIY situation. First I removed the cabinet doors and refinished them—all but three. Those three are still waiting. Then I ripped out the tile backsplash and it stayed painted drywall for years because I couldn’t make up my mind about what I wanted. I finally found some textured metal that I installed and I’m still undecided as to whether I like it, but I did install a new over-the-sink light that I love…anyway, on this one particular day, I was so frustrated by my kitchen progress and wanted to cry because WHY couldn’t I get to the finish line and then I heard a little voice in my head say…

"Because struggle is who you are. You only know how to struggle. You have always struggled and you always will struggle because that is all you deserve."

What the what?!!!

I would have protested, but the words felt like a soul deep truth. I started examining my decisions more closely and realized that, yes, if I set my course on something and there were two paths to choose from, the straight shot or the long way around, I always chose the long way. Shout out to The Chicks for writing my personal anthem!

This trait shows up most clearly in my career. I have come to understand over the years that a robust writing career thrives from many non-writing tasks.

1. Sharing work with friends or family when just starting out. Did I do that? Nope. I wrote in Emily Dickinsonesque solitude not sharing my work with anyone because I didn’t want any negativity. This was a mistake that would cost me years of working with no input. So dumb.

2. Networking with other authors. I joined some writing groups. Never went to the meetings. So helpful…not. I missed out on the support, understanding, and inside information other authors could give me. What a dope.

3. Doing editor/agent pitches at conferences, attending publishing events, meeting and greeting the people who might actually be interested in publishing or representing me and selling the stories I was crafting. So many lost opportunities and why? Because why would I make things easy on myself? Argh!

4. Clout-chasing. This is one I will likely never get good at. Essentially, it is targeting authors who are crushing it and ingratiating myself with them in the hope that they will use their clout to elevate my career. Every book about being successful in any business recommends this practice, but it just makes me feel gross. I’m an authentic relationship person not transactional. Lame of me, I know, but I am what I am.

This struggle epiphany happened a few years ago, and at the time I thought I could affirmation it away by countering it by saying, “Everything goes my way” as often as possible. With this enlightenment, one would think I would have changed my ways. One would be wrong. Despite this brilliant insight about myself and my journey, I still consistently chose the path less taken. Why?

Because…and here I had a new epiphany! I do love a good epiphany. Are you ready? Having just had one of my most creative years—I started writing fantasy, which was so satisfyingly difficult, and having a book picked up for a streaming series, which neither I nor my team did anything to facilitate (other than writing the book)—I realized that while both things were awesome, only one sparked my creativity, and it was the difficult one, meaning…struggle is where I thrive and where my ideas come from!

How do I know this? When I was fifteen, my brother and I were on vacation in Vermont and he was tasked with teaching me to ski. He took me to the bunny slope and I kept wiping out while getting off the chairlift. The hill was no better. As I snowplowed my way down the slope at two miles per hour, taking out every little kid foolish enough to get in my path, my brother swiftly ran out of patience for rescue duty as I tripped over my own skis, repeatedly. Finally, bored beyond reason, my brother dragged me up to the the black runs, mercifully without moguls, and said, “See you at the bottom.” And then he left. Bro had set me up on the long way around with no other option to get to the bottom than to stand up on my own two skis and get it done. And I did. Incidentally, I didn’t fall, not once. The hard path forced me to shine.

Now, for the first time ever in my twenty-five year career, I don’t have any story ideas in my head. This has never happened to me before and, frankly, I think it’s because things have been too smooth in my career recently. I’ve achieved some spectacular goals and find myself asking now what? I clearly need some hardship. Recently, while decluttering, I found a suspense proposal I’d thought up a few years ago and I got excited because it’s really difficult with multiple points of view, betrayals, alliances, a shocking murder, all good but really complicated stuff, and I was…happy.

I’ve realized I can only be a force of nature if I’m met with resistance. So my new modified affirmation is “Everything goes my way…even when it doesn’t” because apparently struggle is my jam. Who knew? Not me…clearly.

I’ll be at the Ashland Mystery Festival in Ashland, OR from Oct 8-11. It is a packed agenda, but I am hosting a table at dinner and bringing loads of freebies to promote my upcoming Witches of Questionable Intent release so, yes, baby dragons and witch hats all around!

Speaking of my upcoming release, don’t miss this giveaway: ENTER HERE

Lastly, we’re down to the last two episodes of the HallmarkPlus streaming series adapted from my novel Paris is Always a Good Idea and I am just so pleased with the show and the talent of everyone involved. If you haven’t watched it yet, I highly recommend it!

Wishing you a smooth journey—but not too smooth as the rapids are the fun part—a beautiful sunset, the sounds of birds chirping, and a good night’s sleep.

XOXO, Jenn