Greetings from Brooklyn. It’s me, Jen Glantz.
I took Gemma to a toddler class in the neighborhood last week. She’s at the age (3!!) where there’s a 50% chance she’ll come close, grab my hands, and say, Mommy, stay over here, okay?
I had mentally prepared for her, at 13, to ask to be dropped off at the mall at the abandoned Sears entrance so that nobody would see she rode there with her middle-aged (but very cool and hip mom...my future self manifests). But at 3? Okay, fine. Motherhood is all about dealing with things way sooner than you’re ready for. So I’ll take it.
I’ll plop my mom butt on a bench and not cry. I won’t cry. I am crying, okay? But we can’t let her see that or else she’ll start asking me to take an additional six feet back for every embarrassing tear I tongue-wipe off my cheek.
So I’m sitting off in the wings with the other castaway caregivers, watching Gemma interact with the other kids, and I’m noticing that she keeps turning around to look at this very cool-looking 6-year-old. She’s dressed sooo Brooklyn. Her tee has iron-on patches. They match her pants. Half-up pony. She looks like the kind of person who is cool at 6 and 16 and 26, and I’m sure at 60 will be some sort of icon.
Gemma is turning around every minute or so, seeing what she’s doing, and copying her exact moves.
Her hand on her cheek. Gemma’s hand moved there. She started rubbing her eyes. Gemma did the same. It was actually kind of sweet. Like she had accidentally hired herself a tiny life coach.
What is going on right now? I start asking ChatGPT if this is normal, and ChatGPT, who has such a way with words when I upload pictures of my bodily fluids and ask the same question, always tells me the same thing: Jen, first, let’s not panic, okay?
ChatGPT, of course, said it’s normal, and my brain also said, Jen, what’s wrong with you? Of course it’s normal. You are 38 and still copying people. You literally just bought this skirt because you saw a cool writer online wearing it to her book party and decided you wanted to look like a cool writer too!
I know what it’s like to be young and want to be old. I remember looking at those tiny little crop tops that looked like headbands, thinking, I can’t wait to be 15 and have my own babysitting money so I can buy and wear this. I remember being 13, willing to bet my Bat Mitzvah money on the fact that life would get soooo much better if I just aged.
At 38, never once, not one second of the day, do I ever wish to skip ahead. I do not wish for my time back either. I just am happy….being? Gross.
But to Gemma, 6-year-olds have peaked at life. They know the secrets that she can’t seem to find from Sesame Street and Disney princess figurines.
Gemma has a few 6-year-old friends, so now when people ask how old she is, she just says 6, and I have to say, Gemmmmmma, you don’t want to grow up soo fast. Six is double your age. That’s like me saying I’m 80!!
Anyway, back to the cool girl copycat situation.
I brought this all up to her later. I said, That girl behind you was fun, right? She knew exactly what I was talking about because she started smiling.
You’re fun too. I bet people are looking at you and doing what you’re doing all the time.
The lesson for us all is try not to be too busy trying to be like everyone else that you literally don’t see your own snap pea of a self. I know it’s tempting. To wear your hair like the woman whose Dyson Airwrap tutorial convinced you your life would change. To start saying sus because you heard a teenager say it on the subway and then secretly Googled what it meant (suspicious!!)
But do you ever miss who you actually are? The version of you who air-dried her hair because it felt fun. Who wore butterfly clips without wondering if they’d come back in style. Who told corny jokes without apologizing for them.
Bring her back.
Nobody is copying me, though, she said. She’s 3, but she’s a wise old soul.
But maybe they are. How would you even know?
How would any of us know?
Take care of yourself this week (ilysm).
I met Jess Janz a million years ago, and one of the very first things she told me was that she was a poet who would one day write a book. Well, today is that day. Her book is already on my nightstand, and it's one I plan to read slowly so I can savor every single word from this incredible writer. Jess is also the creator of Dinners With Strangers, where people who have never met gather for conversations with one simple rule: don't talk about work. Her book shares the lessons she's learned from hosting these dinners with more than a thousand strangers, and I have a feeling it's going to be one of those books I'll keep coming back to.
Are these healthy fruit-only gummy snacks. They are a great summer pick-me-up to keep in your purse and have zero added sugar.
We’re at the point in summer where less is more when it comes to the fabric you wrap around your body. I’ve been living in my pajamas jeans but it’s now 98 degrees and those jeans are not helping my overacting sweat glands that like to make themselves known to passerby. SO I bought this Quince skirt in a few colors. Easy to pair with simple tops and feel like you’re wearing a pulled together proper outfit.
The second my broken precious big toe heals, I’m getting my ass to a dance class. This song will get you up and dancing or busting out those desk chair moves (hi, that’s meee).
My quarterly reminder to look at your credit card bills and bank accounts and pick up the phone. Call to ask for a courtesy refund of any fees.
For example, I just called Bank of America and asked if they’d refund an overdraft fee and an account fee that I incurred or my business bank account. Most of the time, they will do this, especially if it’s never happened before. I got back $36.
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