The Biggest Villain of 'The Odyssey' and the Inverse of 'Save the Cat'

Now that it’s out, can we talk about the real villain of “The Odyssey?” Yes, I mean this guy.

A lot of people do a lot of terrible things in Christopher Nolan’s new epic - but Corey Hawkins’ Polybus officially earns the title of THE WORST™ for obvious reasons. Robert Pattinson raises sniveling to an art form as Penelope’s suitor Antious, Jon Bernthal is the picture of toxic masculinity as Menelaus and Benny Safdie literally throws his child off a cliff as Agaememmon.

But there is no excuse for how Polybus treats Argos, Odysseyus’ faithful dog. Sweet Argos is the bestest boi, as all dogs are - he’s been putting off death for 20 years, faithfully waiting for his master to return home. He is also the most sympathetic character in the film when we learn his backstory - Eumaeus (John Leguizamo) was going to throw him into the sea as a puppy (what is it with these guys and cliff murders?) Before Odyssyus intervened and took him on as a hunting dog. (BTW, before this we see Eumaneus toss a different dog from the litter off the cliff and while I know he’s supposed to be a “good” guy, I’m not too thrilled with him, either.)

Still, it’s Polybus who insists on kicking sweet Argos as he literally just lays there on the dining floor of his own home during a feast. You all know the screenwriting term “Save the Cat” - its an action taken by the protagoist to show he’s the hero (i.e., saving a cat from harm.) Well, we know Polybus is A Bad Guy because from the very start, he does the antithesis of Save the Cat - he Kicks the Dog! And it works - his comeuppance at the end of the film is all the more sweet.

Honestly, I’m kind of annoyed at every character for how they treat Argos. Antinous places him on a pile of manure where he is ostensibly left for days (if not years, I’m a little iffy on the timeline) until Odysseyus returns home at last. Telemachus (Tom Holland) sort of makes an effort to get him, but it’s pretty half-hearted, so he’s on the list. And Penelope (Anne Hathaway) is too busy looming to help out. If I’d been a character in that film, there would have been an additional hour run time dedicated to rescuing Argos.

Of course, Nolan is a master storyteller and knew exactly what he was doing. All the scenes with Argos are meant to melt our hearts - his final tail wag is the equivalent of six “Titantics” - it’s Timothée Chalamet staring into the fireplace in “Cal Me By Your Name,” Macauley Culkin’s funeral in “My Girl,” and all of “The Shawshank Redemption” wrapped in one.

It’s like Sam Rockwell’s character in Martin McDonagh’s masterpiece “Seven Psychopaths” tells his screenwriter friend: “You can’t let the animals die in a movie…only the women.” I can’t handle horrible things happening to people because we generally deserve it - or we understand the cruelty of humanity. But dogs are perfect beings, built of love and fuzz, and trust us implicitly.

None of this is meant as criticism to Hawkins, a brilliant actor I’ve loved in movies and in his Tony Award-nominated roles in “Six Degrees of Separation” and “Topdog/Underdog” (I mean “dog” is in the title TWICE!) But it will be awhile before I can look at him the same. I know it’s acting but I remember running into Will Forte at a screening where he paid me a lovely compliment and I had a visceral reaction where I just did not like the guy. I only realized later that night it was because I had just seen “Strays,” where he abuses a sweet puppy for the whole runtime. (Forte is literally one of the nicest people in the business and I still feel bad for how hostile I fear I reacted to him that day.)

Anyway, to make things better, I’m going to need Hawkins to visit one of those Puppy Rooms ASAP. Oh wait, he kind of did - in People Magazine’s Toronto Film Festival Studio last year. Okay, Corey, we’re good…for now.