I Failed So Hard in 2025

My word for 2025 was failure. And I’m just gonna toot my own horn here and say I nailed it, y’all. I failed up. I failed forward. I failed physically. I failed professionally. I failed in myriad ways. And I could not be more psyched about it.

Choosing failure as my word for 2025 was a reclamation of the concept of failure as the moment where the most meaningful growth happens.

This was not an easy thing to do. A year is a long time, after all. I had to repeatedly snatch failure from the jaws of demeaning definitions. I had to regularly untangle failure from fear. I had to relentlessly use a mental machete to forge a new neural pathway between failure and growth while resisting the pull toward the well-worn pathway between failure and loss.

What is the result of all this work? Well, I woke this morning with a cold. And as soon as I post this I’m going to take a nap. Because I am pooped.

But I am also proud. Reclaiming failure as empowering growth has been the best kind of work. I got so good at failing I could write a book about all the ways I failed in 2025 (ooh, maybe I will!). Here are a few highlights from my Year of Failure:

I failed to rein in my love of tattoos. And now my arms are adorned with my kids’ handwriting, an evil eye, a dragonfly, and other symbols and words that are meaningful to me. I love my tattoos so much. They are like a tether to myself. Every time I glance at one of them I feel connected to me, my values, and I. That moment of connection is a tiny act of rebellion that fuels me daily.

I worked my muscles to failure countless times. I encouraged the women who attend my strength training classes to do the same. And guess what happened? We all got stronger. My friend/boss Jaime even had to order heavier dumbbells for the studio. At 45, I feel stronger than ever.

I failed to get a book deal with my dream publishing house. Did this experience break my heart? Yes. Did it almost break my resolve to publish my book? Yes. Did it ultimately end up being one of the greatest gifts I received this year? BIG YES.

I failed to wimp out on taking my book on tour. Even though I wasn’t backed by a publishing house. Even though I didn’t have an agent or a PR team. I took my real life book on a real life book tour and felt like a real life author because I am. And it was one of the most joyful, incredible experiences of my life.

I failed to shrink. In fact, I expanded. My physical body got stronger. My fitness classes became more popular. My social media following grew. My Substack grew. And I just want to keep going, keep growing, keep reaching for more. So audacious, right? OMG I know.

I failed to adhere to diet culture. Diet culture really made a comeback in 2025, but I remain a proud diet culture dropout. Now I have another year of practice under my belt (I mean, if I wore belts anymore). I practiced listening to my body. I practiced feeding her what she wants when she wants it. And guess what happened: I enjoyed food and stayed the same size.

I failed at being a drinker. Another year, another victory lap run around the wine witch. Another year of clarity. Another year free of hangovers and the shame they always induced. Another year of alcohol freedom. Cheers to that.

I’ll bask in the glow of all this failure for as long as I can. And I plan to keep failing this year, too. But I also wanted to choose a new word for this year and see where it takes me. The word that came to me is

OPEN.

My word for 2026 is open.

What does this mean?

Well, 2025 was a wonderful year in so many ways, but it was also a doozy. It was so much of a doozy that, if I weren’t determined to practice being open, I might just be tempted to crawl back into a safe little box, or hide behind a safe little computer screen, or let go of all this hard personal development work because who can keep doing the work in the midst of, you know, LIFE?!

So I consciously choose open as my word for 2026 because that’s how I want to be. I want to keep my mind open. I want to keep my heart open. I want to be open to professional opportunities that come my way, even if they’re daunting. I want to keep my eyes open so I can catch all the glimmers and not miss any silver linings.

I will not retreat into fear or cynicism. I will not fall back into old patterns of fawning or doubting my worth or capability. I will not close myself off to this messy world. I will stay open. Vulnerable. Authentic. Me.

Do you have a word for 2026? I’d love to know!

Happy. New. Year. We made it. Now let’s do something cool with it.