May 2026
Vol. 282
Friends, readers, countrymen, lend me your ears… (okay, eyes.)
Hi there! I hope this missive finds you well, warm, and happy!
They say, “May you live in interesting times.” And boy, how do we ever right now? Everything that’s happening is changing how we will live for the next several years. Artificial Intelligence. GLP-1s. Wars and inflation and social media chaos. Deep political divides. There are so many real and perceived moral slippery slopes right now that it’s hard to keep up with the fire hose of permissions.
Many, many people have opinions about what we are and what we are not allowed to do with our one and only life. I think the vast, vast majority of us tune it all out and do what’s right for our own lives, our own families. But that doesn’t stop the outcries. Doesn’t stop the algorithm from trying to feed us its idea of what’s good for us.
Which brings me to my topic this month.
I was listening to T.K. Coleman of The Minimalists on Cal Newport’s podcast (episode 395) The topic was, of course, do we need social media (honestly, many of us do for business, me included) and whether a break, or leaving entirely, is feasible considering its use in discoverability for new readers/viewers/listeners/customers. T.K. made a fascinating analogy about social media, drawing on a story he’d watched about an old woman hiding from death. She is afraid of dying, desperately afraid, and has stayed indoors with the door locked so death can’t find her. He comes to the door in various guises, and she turns him away again and again. It’s not until someone is injured outside her door, and cries for help, that she finally opens it. Of course, that is death, and he’s tricked her. But the story goes on to show how friendly and kind death is, and how she didn’t need to be afraid after all.
Now, this is a bit morbid, I know, but T.K. likens this parable to social media. How it tricks us into staying online, into coming back, into giving it our heart and soul. How the algorithm is no longer allowing us connection with the people we want, people we follow, friends, and family, but is instead feeding us what it chooses. And we’re letting it.
Creepy, that.
I wanted to read this story. See if I could make the same connection. So I started asking around to see if anyone had an idea what it was. I couldn’t find it anywhere—though there are many variations in folklore, none were exactly the same. Eventually, I sent a Hail Mary note to T.K. on Instagram, assuming it was pointless since he wasn’t online anymore, but he was, and he wrote back. Turns out it’s from The Twilight Zone. Season 3, Episode 16. It’s titled “Nothing In The Dark.”
We, of course, immediately queued it up to watch.
The story wasn’t exactly as T.K. relayed it, but it was pretty close. Three things stood out to me.
One - Mr. Death is played by a VERY young Robert Redford in one of his first on-screen roles. That in and of itself was worth watching.
Two - He is gentle. Kind. Understanding of her fear. Incessant in his tenderness, assuring her that all will be well. The transition is nothing but peace, and she realizes she shouldn’t have been as scared as she was. I would hope for that, myself, when the time comes.
Three - Because she is so afraid of dying, the old woman had stopped living entirely. She is barricaded in an old tenement that is scheduled for demolition. She never leaves, not even for food. She no longer feels the sun on her skin because she is too afraid to leave. She feels hunted, having seen Death’s face when she was younger and realizing who he is. The fear of seeing him again has colored everything in her life.
An irrational fear, right?
That was the heart of the story for me, though. This is something we folks with anxiety deal with on a daily basis. Being scared of doing something, big or small—traveling overseas, going to a concert, being out in a big crowd, taking risks—it is very easy to allow those irrational fears to stop you from doing the thing that you love and will otherwise enjoy.
I am not a huge risk-taker with my physical being. And my concern about something bad happening has absolutely stopped me from doing things. I’ve been working very hard to conquer this. It may never go away fully—my head will always be on a swivel—but I try very hard not to let fear stop me from doing things that I know I’ll enjoy. All will be well, and all will be well, and all things will be well —that’s the mantra.
To liken this problem to social media’s seductive pull, how we spend so much time staring at our hands, fits this parable well. Gosh, go to a restaurant on a Friday night. It’s shocking how many people are there, together, but not. They are looking at their phones, experiencing another life, one completely at odds with the one they’re actually in. The idea resonates deeply: if we’re online all the time, we really aren’t living. We are safe, sort of, but in doing so, we are allowing the algorithm to control our thoughts and actions. We are hiding from life. We are missing the sun on our skin in favor of allowing a computer to make decisions for us about what we see, consume, and do. And the algorithm is getting bigger, deeper, stronger, by the minute. It is addictive in the most unhealthy ways. Seductive. Alluring. Like many generative AI systems, it tells us what we want to hear rather than pushing us out of our comfort zone. Worse, we accept that. It’s just…easier.
I am just as guilty as anyone of doomscrolling. But lately I’ve been working very hard to limit my time in the trenches, to actively search out the people I love to see how they’re doing, to find better ways to connect. To read a book on a subject if it’s something I’m interested in, instead of skimming the surface of the idea. We’ve traded our weekend home improvement shows for long-form historical accounts of eras we’re interested in. That’s the first line of defense against the algorithm (though joke’s on me, as my goodness it’s hard to get YouTube to give you what you’re looking for. It wants you to watch what IT thinks you should, not the other way around. Again, creepy.) The book and magazine articles are second. It’s all giving depth where there’s been too much surface. Sunshine instead of a black box.
And because of this, the work is getting richer, and my anxiety is dropping. There’s always going to be a breaking news story that captures my attention and sends me down the rabbit hole—I am a thriller writer and a longtime political junkie, so that’s impossible to avoid. But on the whole, I’ve done so much better lately by using my online world the way I need to, instead of letting it use me.
So fill up the bird feeder. Get the hummingbirds some fresh food. Get fresh air and lots of exercise, and spend more time in the sun. Go deeper into the things that you’re fascinated by. Love hard. That is something none of us will ever regret. And give that Cal episode a listen. It’s worth it.
Guess what comes out on Tuesday??? That’s right, 14, the second installment of the Taylor Jackson series! I’ve had a fun time going down memory lane, revisiting some of the interviews I did for the original release. Sadly, many aren’t linkable anymore, but I did find this Q&A that gives you a little insight, which will be live on Tuesday!
In the meantime, grab yourself a gorgeous new (and slightly edited for excessive f-bombs 💣) copy!
If you’re interested, JUDAS KISS and THE COLD ROOM are both up on NetGalley, as is YOU KNOW WHY. Can’t guarantee approval, but give it a try!
We are marching relentlessly closer to the release of YOU KNOW WHY on August 25. I really think you’re going to love this one. Tour is starting to shape up, but two are set in stone: I’ll be at Parnassus on August 24 and at the Linebaugh Library on August 29.
So it turns out the vast majority of you do not take seasonality into account when choosing your reading material. Good to know! This month, though, I expect a broader array of answers…
Looking for a great serial killer thriller? Got you covered.
The second in the Queens of Sturmfrost trilogy sees Meryn struggling with the weight of the crown.
A raw and insightful look at the sudden end of a marriage.
I read this in galley form ages ago, and it was released this week. VERY inventive story, with a fresh look at female friendships.
I cheated and went back to the archives because I’ve been in the mood for some shredded chicken tacos. I put the tortillas on the griddle, warm them, then coat them with cheese before putting them into taco holders and filling them. Divine!
You can find all of my recipes on The Wine Vixen.
You can watch new episodes on Nashville PBS Sundays after Tennessee Crossroads, on the PBS app, or on our website here, and listen to the full interviews on our podcast here. Season 11 is fantastic!
Time for this month’s chance at winning a $30 gift card!
Last month's giveaway winner: Congratulations to janesprando! Check your email...
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Thank you for journeying into the heart of darkness with me this month. I hope it gave you some food for thought. Be well, read something great, and I’ll see you next month!
xo,
Are you still here?
Here’s a sweet spring kitten for your troubles!
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