Bathtime slip 'n slide

I keep a towel on top of my legs when giving the boys a bath.

I sit on a toilet next to the tub. I use a cup to wash their hair and body. I pick up toys when they fall out and add more bubbles whenever they ask for them.

But I don’t want to get wet.

There’s not a good explanation for this other than I can be, at times, particular. This is by anyone’s account the worst trait for when you have toddlers for roommates. They leave toys anywhere they want. They spit food out onto the ground. They knock over the dog’s water bowl. They push books off of shelves. They dump out the crumbs of their snack bags onto the couch.

A person who is particular would describe this as a living nightmare. I describe this as spending days with my two precious joys.

By the grace of God (truly), I’m getting used to the mess. That’s showbiz, baby. But what I’m not used to (and if I don’t get sanctification from the Lord soon, never will get used to) is getting wet during bath time.

Usually by the time we’ve arrived at the bath, I’ve ditched shoes for the day and am down to just socks. No one wants wet socks.

The boy is typically non-rambunctious during his bath. Although, he has started to notice that it bothers me when I get wet, so when I pick him up out of the bath, he rubs his hands on my shirt to leave wet fingerprints and laughs. This bothers me exactly as much as he wants it to (a lot!).

Generally though, during the bath, he is chill. He likes to line up cars or cover his hands in bubbles or pretend to make ice cream. Tiny is different.

Keep in mind that this baby cannot walk, cannot speak, and knows literally nothing about anything. He is still an absolute bundle of chaos the moment his butt hits the bath.

Even before the tub fills, he flops quickly onto his belly and starts moving around. He doesn’t crawl so much as he scooches and instead of avoiding getting water in his mouth, he goes face first into the faucet.

Within seconds, he is screaming as he kicks off one wall and slides all the way down to the faucet and drain. Then, he tries to stick his hand down the drain, looks up with eyes wide open directly into the faucet, nearly drowns, then sits up, spins around, and starts over.

It is cute.

It gets me wet.

And that’s parenting for you. Sometimes (often times), the cutest things create the biggest messes. That’s why I love when the better half sends me a video of Tiny and the boy playing in the hose. That looks like so much fun! From afar! Where I am dry!

Unfortunately for my children, the desires of my heart do not include ending every day at an indoor water park in my own home. Unfortunately for me, that choice does not rest in my hands.

All I can do is keep a towel around and hope.

But I am never far away from having one wet sock.

Thanks for reading this far.

- jd

And also…

The Odyssey. Not much to say about it. Just exactly what you would expect from the greatest living director telling the most epic story of all time with a virtually unlimited budget. Pretty boring actually.

Look, we bought tickets for our second viewing of the movie before we had even seen it once. And our excitement for that second viewing grows greater every day.

The book is good too.

Ok, that’s my last thought…

Circe!