When Your Kids Hang Back

When you go to the park, does your child run straight for the playground?
Climb the ladder, race to the slide, jump right into playing with the other kids?

That wasn’t my experience.

When I first became a parent, I would take my toddler to the park, and she was so cautious. We’d climb to the top of the playground, and even if no one was there when she arrived, it wouldn’t stay that way for long. Other kids would climb up behind her while she stood there, taking her time.

She could feel them.

Instead of going down the slide, she would slowly back up, letting each child pass.

Her dad and I would gently encourage her.

“It’s okay, sweetie. You can go.”

But almost every trip to the park looked like that.
Hesitation. Watching. Waiting.
More often than not, we’d end up eating snacks or on the swings.

More bold.
More ready to jump in.
But he was even more cautious.

Because of that, park days used to feel like being pulled in two directions.

I was surrounded by a large community of moms, and I genuinely wanted to connect. But I knew how it would go. I’d arrive, try to talk, and both of my kids would be wrapped around my legs, uncomfortable in the space they’d just stepped into.

It felt like I had to choose between being present with my kids or present with my friends.

Then I realized what they needed from me first.

If you’re meeting a friend at the park, here’s what changed everything for us:

For the first 10–15 minutes, don’t focus on your friend.
Focus on your child.

Put your phone away.
Get on the playground.
Run. Climb. Go down the slide.

Be the person they can follow when they’re not ready to go first.

That simple shift gave my kids the confidence they needed to start playing.

Now my kids are six and eight, and I still see a version of that same hesitation when we enter somewhere new.

But I also notice something else. So many parents sitting on the bench. No judgment at all. Sometimes you need the break. I get it.

But I’ve started to wonder if, sometimes, we have it a little backwards. What if moving with them is just as much for us as it is for them?

When I step in early—start a game of tag, send them on a mission to find the “secret path” across the playground without touching the ground, or just give just a little direction—they follow.

And it doesn’t take long before they don’t need my direction anymore. They’re off creating and imagining. It just takes a little modeling to get there.

And here’s the part that still surprises me. Almost every time we go to the park, it starts with just me and my two kids.

But by the end, I’m surrounded.

Kids we’ve never met are joining in.
Asking to play.
Running alongside us.

It doesn’t take much.
Start something, and kids come.

And eventually, your kids will climb on their own.

If imaginative play doesn’t come naturally to you, I get that. Life is full. Energy is limited. And sometimes getting through the day already feels like a win.

I have those days too. But I’ve always found myself turning everyday moments into little games or adventures with my kids. Those moments fill up with conversation. Some deeply meaningful. Some incredibly silly. And many nights end with us reading or creating our own story worlds together.

So, when I think about the children’s books and Bible studies I’ve written, they hold a little of all of that. They carry the story, but they don’t just end with words. They turn into games, activities, prompts, even recipes. Things you can actually step into with your kids.

I designed them so that on low-energy days, you can just open and go and immediately have something to do together. My kids will forever be obsessed with monster tag. Honestly, any kind of tag is a win in our house.

You can learn more about my free Bible study PDFs here. If you prefer something you can hold, I’ve also put them into book form—Galatians and Thessalonians.

Or if you’re looking for something more playful, you can join Hammerton on his quest to find the dragon as he learns patience, follow Zibble as he works through his K, L, and R sounds, or step into stories with Fiara and Hammerton as they learn to steward their money, and with Fiara as she processes young grief.

I know I’m not the only one thinking about this. There are others creating really thoughtful ways to engage kids in everyday life. Here are a few posts I especially enjoyed this month, along with a few that added something meaningful to the mix.

• Everyday Discipleship — I’ve especially appreciated what Matt Brewer is building. His page is full of simple, practical ways to live out faith as a family.

• Making Marvelous Memories — Tara shares simple, everyday ideas for spending time with your kids and creating meaningful moments together.

• Raising Godly Children — Tyler Gordon offers a thoughtful look at how deeply our everyday choices shape what our children come to love and imitate.

• More Than Just a Walk — Brooke Z shares simple ways to turn everyday walks into something fun and meaningful together.

• Raising Capable Kids — Mollie Donghia gives a thoughtful look at helping kids grow in responsibility, independence, and resilience over time.

• Cultivating the Neighborhood Community — Tanya Gunderson shares a beautiful picture of building intentional, everyday community and creating a “village” for our kids to grow up in.

• Books, Learning, and Wonder — Asheritah offers a beautiful take on growing wonder and a love of learning in everyday life.

• Anger in Motherhood — Whitney Aguirre shares an honest look at anger and how to work through both the heart and the practical side of it.

• The Crown of Parenting — Ché reflects on the joy of grandparenting and watching your children raise their own families.

And if you’re hoping to connect with other families who love Jesus, I’ve started building a little directory you’re welcome to explore. I shared more about it in my recent post, What Keeps Writers Going.

One last thing I wanted to share.

I’d love for you to join if you’re free. You can find all the details to sign up here.

I write about prayer, becoming more whole in Christ, everyday discipleship, and family life. Alongside essays, you’ll also find free kid’s Bible studies, and a living conversation about finding your people on Substack.

At the heart of it all is a story of God bringing me from darkness to light, so I can’t help but write about hope, transformation, grace, and the reality that no person is too far gone for God to reach. More than anything, my passion is sharing Jesus with my whole heart.

You can generally expect to hear from me every other Tuesday at 7:07am, with occasional bonus posts and resources sprinkled in when time and life allow.

I also occasionally host Virtual Substack meetups for thoughtful conversation, and encouragement. Sign up here if you’d like to hear about future gatherings as dates open up.

Glad you’re here,

—AJ