Lead Where No One Has Gone

I was a leader for years before I could admit it.

Around age 50, I did an advanced leadership module through Toastmasters. The program required me to choose four people that I considered leaders to mentor me. The very first section asked me to explain to them how I saw myself leading. I said, “I’m not a leader. I’m doing this to learn how.”

The collective gasp from them was like a Greek chorus had sprung into action. They let me know, without any wiggle room, that I was definitely a leader and wanted to know how I couldn’t see that.

I was shocked by their response but gave it some thought. As I reflected on my adult life, I’d been a classroom teacher for nine years. I took a program on writing and the teaching of writing from UMass Amherst and brought it back to the middle school classroom where the kids went from never writing to being regular writers.

As a mom, I started a weekly playgroup when my oldest daughter was 1 year old that lasted until we moved out of state seven years later. I’d also started a Moms group with monthly topics and speakers. I’d been a brownie leader and a weekly volunteer who brought storytelling to the girls’ school.

In my hypnotherapy business, I’d been an innovator who wrote articles for local papers, gave talks, and advertised weekly, years before mental health folks joined in. I’d held several offices in the local women’s networking group, including president, where I’d led the way in shifting the culture to one of connection. I’d been president of my Toastmaster’s group and the board of my spiritual community as well.

This was all before that meeting with the Greek chorus of mentors who couldn’t believe I didn’t think I was a leader.

I don’t say all this to toot my horn. I say it because as I look back I’m just as astonished as that Greek chorus that I couldn’t see myself as a leader, but now I understand why. It was all about style.

At that point in my life, I only recognized a hierarchical leadership style with a boss and minions and that was not me. The lasting insight from that leadership module was discovering my way of leading. I’m a collaborator and encourager.

For fourteen years I led a spiritual community as the senior minister. People still joke about how if Rev. Jane asked you to do something the answer was always yes. This was not because I was bossy. (My younger siblings would argue that point.) It was because I’m most interested in bringing forth the talents in each person and helping them feel like they are an important part of the community. I was always aware of what the community needed, in terms of volunteers, and as I listened to a person, I would notice their growing edge and offer them an opportunity to develop that through a specific volunteer position. Over time, there were plenty of volunteers and a sense of ownership in the community.

I stepped away from that role a couple of years ago because I realized that the organization was growing to the point that it needed some bureaucracy. Systems provide a scaffolding for safe growth. I could appreciate that, but it wasn’t my skill set or something I wanted to develop at that point in my life. I could also feel my energy being pulled in new directions.

Today the community is still working on finding their footing and the new minister is developing his leadership style. What I believe is that systems are important but a leader has to care more about the people and find a way to communicate that—if the organization is going to attract people. Unlike a for-profit business that can pay people to work there (though maybe not enough to stay there), non-profit organizations have to rely on both integrity of systems and softer people skills.

I’ve also recently learned that there’s more to leadership than style. Where you are leading from is critical. If you are leading from the tried and true but possibly stale, in a sense you are just moving piles of papers around on your desk.

To be a worthwhile leader, you need to be taking people somewhere they haven’t been before. Maybe not all organizations and businesses need to have the vibe of a StarTrek adventure, or it’s possible that we are at a time in our collective evolution where they do.

As you read this, you may already recognize yourself as a leader or you may be waiting for a Greek chorus to set you straight. But whether you are leading your family or a book club or a big organization, the question of where you are leading from is relevant. How do you lead where no one has gone before?

I think the answer is to go within to the unexplored mysteries of your soul, the places where you tap into Universal Mind. This quantum field is filled with possibility—all that may yet be—waiting for need and a leader to call it into form.

I realize this is exactly what I do in hypnotherapy. I’m guiding people into the metaphoric woods of their subconscious, searching for the origin of a pattern that’s keeping them stuck. I never know where we will end up. We are literally heading into the unknown. If you’ve read my book Deep Medicine for Trauma, you know how many different places those “woods” can lead to. An unlimited number, because each place is responding to a different person and a unique history and need.

I’ve traveled with clients to caves reminiscent of Lord of the Rings and fields of crocuses, uterine waters and swamps in Vietnam. The unifying factor is trusting the Universal Mind to lead the way.

Maybe you’ve had this experience when you feel an intuitive prompt to try something new—especially something way outside your comfort zone. If you sit with the prompt you can tell if the guidance is moving you in the direction of life evolving. If it is, say yes.

Recently I listened to a provocative talk by Kate Cavanaugh about the portal of creation. She told us if we want to create something new we need to ponder where we are placing our attention. For example, checking all the headlines, especially the ones that upset us, is focusing on yesterday’s news. That’s all in the past. Some of us are thinking more about the future, with a hot sauce of worry laid on thick. Neither of these attention-sucks is going to inspire a leader with a new direction.

I really took Kate’s message to heart and thought to myself “I need a possibility practice.” I began the very next morning, extending my meditation with a conscious foray into Universal Mind.

The day before I’d spent some time with the kids for the Sunday School program and noticed that the teachers needed more interactive tools. I have always been a kid person who oozes with creativity and playfulness, so in my possibility focus I came up with the idea of creating games that teach spiritual principles and positive attitudes for living that teachers can use with the kids. Then I had the idea of creating a group of people who would collaborate in the creation process, because that sounded like more fun.

That was day one of my possibility practice. Who knows what delights and innovations may yet come?

If you’re tired of watching depressing reruns and horror shows in your newsfeed and your mind, I encourage you to step into leadership by creating your own practice of possibilities. It isn’t a one size fits all, but the source of the new is always going to be that Universal Mind.

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