“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference” (Prayer written originally by Reinhold Niebuhr and adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous)
There were many times in my life when I said this prayer as a reminder that I am powerless over a lot of things. I can’t control what others do or think. I acknowledge that although I may have (and sometimes share) my opinion, I must accept that friends and family have the right to make their own decisions.
But it seems I must “apply” this wisdom increasingly to my health and other factors that come into play in this last chapter of life. I now have a deeper understanding of how our health makes us rich.
I recognize I’m in my bonus years (with increased life expectancy). These issues bubble up because we didn’t die young. But we don’t get this old without some parts wearing out, needing a tune-up, or requiring accommodation of some sort.
It’s regrettable that when we’re in our twenties, we can’t foresee how we could positively influence some of what happens when we’re in our 60s+. None of us could predict how fast we would get there. (“We get too soon old and too late smart.”)
These are the years when performing repetitive motions (sports or work related) catch up with us. We may suffer consequences from not following those medical recommendations exactly or consistently…eating too much, eating the wrong things, worshipping the sun, not exercising, smoking (gasp) etc. Often though, what we face feels random.
Like many of you, I have a growing cadre of doctors. Besides my primary care doctor, I have a cardiologist who is monitoring my irregular heart rate, my dermatologist who is checking my skin for any additional basal cell carcinoma (or worse!), my chiropractor, my ophthalmologist, my audiologist, and of course, my dentist (throw in an occasional oral surgeon).
I recognize that what I personally face is minor compared to many others my age (and younger). On a recent phone call with a good friend of mine, we talked about perspective—not liking the issues we face but appreciating that at least it’s not x and y. Perspective is great…but when all is said and done, we still must deal with what we got.
I remember when my daughter was diagnosed with diabetes at age 4, A lot of people trying to support me would say something like…”at least it’s not …” Of course, that’s true. But I still had to go through the challenge of learning how to inject her little arm with insulin and deal with all the other aspects of diabetes with a small child. To us, it was a pretty big deal. It wasn’t “nothing.”
With every new challenge or medical issue, I face decisions as to the course of action to take. I may accept the diagnosis, but it doesn’t mean I just “walk away.” Acceptance doesn’t mean passive resignation. We are fortunate that we live in a time where technology, research, information, and resources are available.
For serious diagnoses, most of us quickly explore specialists and treatments. Other issues are not as clear. How we handle aging issues seems to depend on the issue, how it impacts the quality of our life, and available resources.
Our ego often plays a part. Your family tells you that you can’t hear—but you dig your heels in before getting hearing aids. Your knees are giving you trouble, but you refuse to use a cane or walker. Does this walker make me look old?
It’s hard to look in the mirror and not see the reflection of the former me. Ah, the effects of gravity and sun (no matter how careful I’ve been..ahem!) and thinning hair. I find myself exploring various options, including OTC treatments, supplements, and cover-ups. All I have to do is google a few words, and the algorithms do the rest. They remind me every time I turn on the computer about “options.” (Ugh!)
I’ve been surprised at the changes I thought I could overcome myself. I used to be able to work over 5 hours a shift at my part-time job. Since I regularly did it, I was surprised that one day, it became too much. It wasn’t a matter of my willpower, it seemed my body had a different “will.”
The other day when my back wasn’t quite up to par, I went to a local mall to buy a few things. I walked from one store to another, requiring me to walk the length of the mall. I realized if I slowed down my usual (former?) pace, the ache/pain wouldn’t be as bad. It was very frustrating, and I had to stay out of the way, so everyone else could pass me by.
Endpoints are elusive. When is enough, enough? We weigh alternatives. We may choose a smaller plot for our garden. Reduce the Christmas decorations. Take more breaks. Live with a little more dust. Get that cane so we can go out of the house. Accept what is for now. New options may become available (we hope).
When I hear the deaths of people younger than me, I am reminded that these extra years are a gift and I am grateful. In all honesty though, I have moments of sadness and even grief as I deal with some of these aging “adjustments.”
I try to remember that I’m still me. All ’n all, I am glad to be hanging around another day—hopefully, another year (and longer)!
May 2026 be filled with good health, good memories, and people you love!
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