Show don't tell

One of the things writers often hear is “show, don’t tell.” It took me a while to grasp this concept, and I wouldn’t say I’ve perfected it by any means, but I am much better than I used to be. Mostly, because I now understand what it means.

For those who aren’t writers:

Telling: Isabelle was scared.

Showing: Isabelle’s eyes widened, and her heartbeat quickened. Her hand, suddenly sweaty, lost its grip on her cell phone and it plunged into the deep snow.

When you tell, the reader becomes a passive observer. You announce to them what they’re supposed to believe, not trusting them to make conclusions on their own. Readers want to participate in the story. And, if you tell too much, they become disengaged, and if you’re me, stop reading.

By showing how the character acts, you allow the reader to be an active participant in the story and connect more with that character.

Another thing writers often hear is to read books and watch TV and movies critically. That’s not to say “be critical,” but more to apply critical thinking to understand why you like something or dislike something, and then take that learning and use it in your writing.

I’m not the best at this yet when it comes to reading books, but I’m getting better when I’m watching TV.

Case in point: The Disclaimer

(Note: I have endeavored to write this without spoilers in case you haven’t watched it yet but, just in case I failed, this is your warning)

The Disclaimer Review

I didn’t like it.

Usually, when I don’t like a show, I’ll stop watching, but this time, I wanted to discover why. I wanted to learn what I didn’t like so I could avoid doing it with my own storytelling.

The Disclaimer has a lot of great things going for it: great acting (I would watch Cate Blanchette peel a potato for an hour), well-produced, good story, good direction, appropriate musical score, excellent writing. It sounds like an amazing show, right?

Here’s where, in my opinion, it fell short:

There was too much telling.

I would say probably 50% of the show was narrated until the last two episodes. Rather than show what was happening or what had happened to the characters through their actions, we were told through narration. Because of this, I felt unengaged.

Throughout the series, I kept asking myself why I didn’t feel sad when something sad happened to the characters or happy when something went their way. And I learned that it was because I didn’t care enough about them. I couldn’t sympathize with their lows or celebrate their highs because I wasn’t engaged with them. I just didn’t care.

While the characters did develop throughout the story, we didn’t see them develop. We were merely told they were developing through narration. We weren’t shown through experiences and dialogue; — we couldn’t make determinations for ourselves — we weren’t allowed to go on that journey with them, so the characters remained flat and one-dimensional.

I realized this because, at the end of the show, the format changed. For the last two episodes, there was less narration and more story being shown through the actions of the characters. I started to feel for them because I felt like I was going through their experiences with them rather than just being told about them. And I started to care.

But, honestly, by that point, it was almost too late. If I had stuck to my regular rule, I wouldn’t have made it that far. I would have just stopped watching. And that’s the last thing a creator wants.

Have you seen The Disclaimer? What did you think? Have you read the book? Did the format work better in book form? Leave a note in the comments or reply to this message with your thoughts. I’d love to hear them!

I’m just over halfway done writing the first draft of my third book (working title - Bound) and I’m really enjoying the process. The thing is, I don’t know what the genre is yet. It has the makings of potentially a psychological thriller, or possibly women’s fiction with elements of suspense, or maybe even women’s psychological fiction which I just learned about. I’m on track to have the first draft done by early February and a draft ready for beta readers in early Spring. Which, honestly, in Saskatchewan could either be April or July.

I will be looking for beta readers at some point, though, and will only be recruiting a handful. And I want most of them to be folks I don’t know this time. So, if you’re interested, let me know. Note that the manuscript won’t be professionally or even semi-professionally edited, as I will be starting from scratch and submitting it to agents and publishers again.

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This was a super fun book by an author who I wasn’t familiar with but will definitely read again. It was a nice mix of romance and mystery, and I really enjoyed it. There was one trope within that I wasn’t a fan of, but its presence is forgiven because the rest was so great. Some definite Emily Henry vibes, in my opinion.

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