Tea is very disgusting to me. Nail me to the cross about it?

Just being honest this week, because this is something I lie about. I think hot tea is so nasty and pointless. Either boring and flavorless or strong and bitter, sometimes tastes like a flower, cool I guess? Always tastes like contaminated water. You know what’s good? Normal water, preferably room temperature so I can chug a whole liter in 3 seconds. I like to min/max hydration.

Sometimes I lie to others about liking tea and sometimes I lie to myself. I’m a work in progress who always has a goal in mind. I evolve constantly. Hating tea is a shortcoming of spirit that remains on my radar. Let’s get one thing straight, I’m not a picky eater or drinker, I’ll drink whatever tea is offered to me and often psy-op myself into being like “this is really good, the notes.” but when the demons come at night and I have to face the music I say, “remember that tea I drank earlier, that was disgusting, the notes.”

It shouldn’t matter if my preference is to not drink tea, but I’m vain and I like the perception, culture, and aesthetic of liking tea. Firstly it’s an idea that is appealing, a leaf from nature is brewed in water and adds flavor color and caffeine (tags: natural, holistic, warming, witches brew), secondly its got an air of elegance, refinement, and luxury, (tags: history, self-care, sometimes so expensive, lots of ceremony, knowledge, have to drink slow bc it’ll burn you), lastly almost all my friends like it (tags: peer pressure, fitting in)

As of today here are the teas not on my shit list: matcha (with dairy and sugar), milk tea (dairy sugar, preferably boba and cheese foam), southern sweet tea (sugar). Regular plain brewed tea continues to elude my unsophisticated unrefined palate.

Much more quaffable beverages: again, plain water, coffee (I will happily drink black coffee, though lately I’ve begun adding zero sugar coffee mate creamer—this is at odds with my aspiration to enjoy tea as it is indicative of a regressive trajectory of beverage preferences towards highly sweetened and highly unnatural), beer (the only alcohol that ever sounds good to me), all diet sodas except for cream soda, all sugar sodas though I never drink them (diabetes), any energy drink, hot chocolate, juice.

Ok I’m done with beverage talk.

Should I apply for Survivor? Sound off. The only thing keeping me from applying is I’m too scared I’d get casted. Having the necessary mentality to wear your hair in skullet is in line with the necessary mentality needed to be entertaining on TV.

Should I apply to be a fulltime church music director? Sound off. Pros: vestments, excuse to learn organ, more income. Cons: commute to the burbs, less free time, restructured balance of all current professional pursuits (knitting, jewelry, violin).

Should I go for a swim today? Sound off. My first swim of the year last year was the first week of April, if I remember correctly, and it was horrible! I think I lasted 5 minutes. The water is 48 degrees today and the air temp is 75, on its way down from a high of nearly 80. I think I’m too scared. Its somewhat windy and overcast. An April Lake Michigan swim is not going to be pleasant, but I would at least love for it to be solidly sunny and over 80 would be best. I need to awaken the brave cold swimmer wolf inside me who welcomes and feels that she deserves the punishment of frigid water.

I’m scared of the cold water but I’m also scared of the summer heat to come. These weak ass window unit A/Cs don’t cut it for me. I’m thinking of going home to Texas this summer for the primary reason of getting out of my balmy apartment and sitting in the cryogenic temperatures of an average Houston-area home for a week or two.

Other things that orbit me: Learning viola da gamba, using the camera on my nintendo 3ds, using my film cameras, switching between reading fantasy and so-called “weird girl lit” (currently reading Sky Daddy), thinking about starting to consider the potential of making content consistently for my busiknits (knit business), dreaming of self publishing print media, purchasing a thick long silver chain so I can start wearing pendants I make, I finished my beloved perfume “black gemstone” and got a new perfume called “Smoke Toad”, should I buy a carton of egg whites (sound off), starting a new game on my ps5 I never play (downloaded a creepy game about a nun called Indika), maybe designing 100 lace knit garments.

Ok goodbye.