“How to let go: one life ends while another begins”
How to let go: one life ends while another begins. I m seven months pregnant with our daughter as Jake s life comes to a close. How do I walk into an uncertain future without him?
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“No Salt”
This is by my brother, Sam. I arrived to Arizona late Saturday, after learning that my brother has only a few days left before cancer ends him. Jake’s wife, Bess, confessed that she had neither the willpower or the energy to take care of the post-death rituals—in this case, cremation, followed by a celebration of [ ]
Starting hospice. The end
I’m entering hospice. It’s time, and realistically past time. The squamous cell carcinoma tumors are growing, and the two doses of spot radiation I got on June 10 and 12 have utterly destroyed whatever quality of life I had. This weekend, a nurse came by and did some planning with Bess and me. Our extensive [ ]
More isn’t always better: death and over-treatment as a downside of agenticness
i. Aren’t we clever? Bess and I felt so very smart. In April, we congratulated ourselves for navigating the healthcare system to get two doses of spot radiation that, in conjunction with clinical trial drug PDL1V, likely shrunk, and perhaps temporarily eliminated, the squamous cell carcinoma tumors in my neck that have been strangling me [ ]
Links: No one wants to talk about death, deep takes on the human condition, and more!
* The Silence Doctors Are Keeping About Millennials’ Death. Germane to me for obvious reasons; our culture denies both death and grief and seems not able to incorporate either, particularly when death is premature. My own end feels so close, particularly because my days, such as they are, are filled with pain and exhaustion. * How [ ]
Links: Slowness as a problem, kinds of conversations, curing cancer, and more!
* Pentagon ‘alarmingly slow’ at fielding new weapons. China seems not to suffer this problem. Perhaps, given what s happening with Taiwan, we should pay more attention. In other China moves fast news: China State Shipbuilding Corporation is the world s largest shipbuilder. It builds vessels for the People s Liberation Army Navy and increasingly sophisticated dual-use commercial [ ]
The two-crisis update
Five days ago I wrote about two simultaneous crises: one from swallowing and breathing poorly, and the second from PDL1V no longer holding back the tumors. Despite those beautiful scans in May showing extensive tumor-size reduction, the most recent scans show Continued neoplastic disease progression throughout the neck as described. Of note tumor results in [ ]
Links: Good-tasting berries, other biology news, being the future you want to lead, and more!
* Why America’s Berries Have Never Tasted So Good: Driscoll’s had to figure out how to breed, produce and sell its most flavorful strawberries and raspberries. Now the strategy is starting to bear fruit (wsj, $). Good news is underrated and seemingly hardly ever goes viral. I think that even though I m very sick and [ ]
Very sick, and two crises hit at once
I ve been silent because I ve been so very sick: swallowing has gotten much harder, and aspiration of food or liquid much more common, to the point that on July 1 I got a new PEG tube put in. Given how much removing the previous tube felt like a triumph, the new installation, although it s keeping [ ]
Links: The longevity of electrics, improving health tech, building the future, and more!
* Electric Vehicles (EVs) Could Last Nearly Forever. Buying or leasing a legacy internal combustion engine (ICE) car now or going forward is nuts because its value is going to drop to near-zero within a few years. Granted there are a lot of obvious things that people don t see coming. * Making sense of honor culture. [ ]