Those of us who’ve battled with eating disorders know all too well the deep emotional pain that comes with poor body image. I struggled with binge eating and dieting for as long as I can remember. I’d go on a strict diet, lose the weight, and feel proud of myself—only to fall back into bingeing, gain it all back, and spiral into shame and disgust over my body and what I felt was a complete lack of willpower. Fortunately, I sought help and haven’t binged in over 30 years. Indeed, I still occasionally overeat, but I am off the binge/diet cycle.
One challenge in changing our inner dialogue about how we are supposed to look is the pressure society places on us to be perfect according to its standards. We're told we're not enough everywhere we turn—ads, celebrity images, glossy magazine covers, and endless social media posts—that unless we buy this, fix that, or look a certain way, something is wrong with us. But here’s the truth: there is nothing wrong with us. We are not broken, we’re just being sold the lie that we are. Real beauty and worth have never come from a product—they come from within.
Accepting my mother's beliefs about beauty resulted in low self-esteem and “I’m not good enough” chatter. I had to work hard to find my own truth and understand my inherent value.
So what did I do about this? I used some of the tools I shared in the earlier chapters of this book regarding finding that inner loving soul to help me develop self-love and self-compassion. I turned inward to get to know and love my inner self for the kind, loving person I am, so that the way my body looks feels less important than how I show up in the world. Meditation, prayer, and journaling have all been effective tools to get here. The journey required not only challenging my beliefs but also changing them.
I began to refer to my physical form as my Earthsuit. Our Earthsuit is what we wear to show up in the world every day so that others can recognize us. Some people have tall suits, some people have short suits, and some people, like me, stretch their suits out. Our Earthsuit is ours and ours alone, and no two suits are exactly the same. Unfortunately, so many of us believe that our Earthsuit is an important aspect of who we are, but that is by no means the full picture. I have been blessed with thick hair, and people often comment on it, but I can take no credit for it because my Earthsuit came with my thick hair and my generous thighs. This is not my ABC talking. I have grown to love my thighs and don’t find the term “generous” pejorative when referring to body size. Too often, if our suit is deemed pretty, we are seen as good; if our suit is big, then we are seen as not good. These judgments are based on opinions, not facts. Naturally, it is our job to take care of the suit the best we can and to keep it healthy, but body size is not a good indication of overall health. Someone with a leaner Earthsuit can be unhealthier than someone with a larger one.
I believe that who we truly are radiates from the soul and spirit dwelling within our Earthsuit. If I focus solely on my outward appearance while neglecting the spirit that lives inside, I deny my soul the attention and love it deserves. In doing so, I risk stifling the very essence of who I am.
Our outward appearance is often a reflection of how we feel inside. There are times when I look in the mirror and hear Abusive Brain Chatter start to creep in. Yet, just an hour later, after taking a walk or feeling uplifted, I can look at the same reflection and think, "I look pretty good today." This shift can happen multiple times a day. So, what has changed: my outward appearance or the way I feel within?
In those moments of self-belittling, I remind myself, "This is not my soul speaking; it’s just a judgment on my Earthsuit. My soul is beautiful today." By doing this, I honor the true, unchanging essence of who I am, and I quiet my Abusive Brain Chatter.
If you know someone who could benefit from this information, please share my newsletter with them. My goal is to reach as many people as possible with the message of self-love.
No posts
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.