There’s been a sea of muted black boxes for 45 minutes. I’ve overshared and probably said too much or too little or embarrassed myself in numerous ways. I can’t tell. Beads of sweat trickle down my head and onto the keyboard, slowly eroding their effectiveness. Being asked to share my experience as an author and illustrator with a group of people who are on their own kidlit journey over zoom is like writing this newsletter only with more second-guessing, awkward pauses, and contradictions. I’m in my own head. Snap out of it — say something profound!
“Um…”
Damn. The host is smiling and her face says the black boxes will be happy and I did ok. “Let’s open things up for questions,” I hear myself say out loud as I forget this will mean more kidlit improv.
The black boxes become people. They ask me good questions, as if they hadn’t been bored or asleep or even there at all. I answer remembering to be myself, sharing what I know with humor and honesty. This is going great! I’m good at this. I have whatever “it” is. An older woman pops up with a question. I’m up for any query at this point. Bring it on! I’m a semi-seasoned professional with 2-3 questions under my belt in this Q&A.
“When you’re starting your own project as an author-illustrator, what comes first — the words or the images?”
I smile. A confident smile. One that says “I know this little publishing secret.” I’m lying. I don’t have a good answer and I know it. I uncork a whole bunch of “ums” and “uhs” before landing on a sheepish… “both?” Is that an answer? Can it be both, Jacob?! You let her down!!! Did her lip dip ever so slightly in disappointment?
Shhh! I’m offering 30% off yearly subscriptions until the end of this month! I’m not solid at math (more of an art kid) but that is <beep, boop, beep> $2.80 per month. I can’t make this happen without your support. I love Drawing a Blank and hope you find it encouraging and inspiring!
Truthfully, I always think the questioner is asking what should come first — “you’ve done the thing, so you must know the right answer.” I shy away from shoulds and right answers generally.
Keeping that in mind, here’s my newest, answer to attempt at wrestling with this question, written for that kind lady from that zoom thing a while ago. I reserve the right to be completely wrong or awkwardly recant in the future.
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