The Best and Worst Fight Scene

Okay, so if you’re into Star Trek, or even have some rudimentary pop-culture knowledge of the original series, chances are you read that title and thought to yourself either “this ought to be good” or “is this guy delusional?” And frankly, I can’t entirely blame you for either thought.

If you’re not familiar with the scene I’m talking about, or need a refresher on just how ridiculous the original Star Trek could be, take a look.

Not exactly Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, is it? But yeah, that scene is, in its own way, a summery of everything that made the original series so fun, even when it was dumb, in the first place. It’s cheesy, schlocky, and kinda looks like something from the world’s weirdest porn. If it were any more the essence of old-school Star Trek, it’d take place somewhere that’s surprisingly reminiscent of ancient Earth history light-years away from our planet, for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with the show’s budget of $10, a carton of cigarettes, and Spock’s ears.

All of that said, I’d argue that, like the original series, it’s a little smarter than it first appears. What the fight lacks in impressive spectacle or elaborate choreography, it makes up for with storytelling choreography. And frankly, storytelling choreography is something that people just don’t take into account too often

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If you know anything about story craft, you’ll know the old saying “show, don’t tell.” And while there is something to be said for occasionally telling with style, some of the best scenes in the history of cinema do so with absolute aplomb. And a good fight scene does is no different. It doesn’t just show spectacle, but tell us about the characters doing the fighting.

I had a friend in middle school whose father was a blacksmith and a fight choreographer. I asked my friend’s father once what he thought was the best fight scene in movie history, and his answer was the climactic battle of the film Rob Roy. If you’ve never seen the film, much less the scene in question, take a look-see here.

Hell of a fight scene, right? The choreography wasn’t just there to look good, but to tell us a story, as you can tell if you’ve been paying attention. Tim Roth’s Cunningham, for example, has a touch for both the flamboyant and the cruel, while Liam Nieson’s Macgregor seems patient, resourceful, and determined. You can also tell that while Cunningham was clearly the superior swordsman, MacGregor ultimately won because he thought outside of the box, could take a slash, and knew when to take advantage of a window of opportunity. This backs up what we see throughout the movie. Cunningham has spent the film terrorizing innocents and even forces himself onto MacGregor’s wife at one point. MacGregor, meanwhile, has been fighting a guerrilla war against the nobles who’ve been harassing his clan and is a general outdoorsman.

Compare that masterwork of storytelling swordplay to, say, the titular fight between Batman and Superman. While Zack Snyder’s choreography and cinematography are certainly impressive, the fight itself feels bland. It’s just a repetitive back-and-forth between the Man of Steel and the Dark Knight. Superman starts beating up Batman; Batman weakens him with kryptonite; Batman beats him up; Superman gets his strength back and starts beating the crap out of Batman until the caped crusader manages to spray some kryptonite into his face; repeat until “MARTHA.” We can’t learn anything about these characters beyond the comical hatred they seem to feel for each other. Also, if Batman wants to kill Superman, why doesn’t he just start off with the Kryptonite spear? And if Superman doesn’t wanna kill Batman, why doesn’t he just wrap him up with rebar or something?

Getting back to the topic of this essay, and away from taking the piss out of BvS, let’s do a blow-by-blow breakdown of Kirk’s initial skirmish with the Gorn: Kirk rips a branch off of a tree but thinks better of it, realizing that it wouldn’t do much good. The Gorn comes at Kirk with a branch of their own, but it’s slow as molasses, and Kirk dodges with ease. Kirk, meanwhile, throws a kick, but the Gorn barely even feels it. He grabs Kirk’s leg and throws him like a shot put. The Gorn takes a few more swings at Kirk, but is so comically slow that Kirk is able to dodge with ease. There is a moment of panic when the Gorn grabs Kirk, but Kirk gets a few hits on the side of his head, momentarily disorienting him. The two get some distance, and Kirk grabs a big rock and hurls it at the Gorn, which hits with all the effectiveness of a wiffle ball. The Gorn responds by tossing a boulder at Kirk that probably could’ve killed him, but he dodges with ease.

In case you missed it, what the action tells us is that these two cancel each other out. The Gorn’s too tough for Kirk, and Kirks to quick for the Gorn. Again, not exactly John Wick, but it does the job of showing without telling, but also sets up the nature of the conflict between these two going forward.

As anyone who’s watched the original Star Trek series will tell you, it was no stranger to putting Kirk or whoever in some pseudo-gladiatorial battle to the death. Unlike the other examples, however, Kirk and the Gorn can’t face each other hand-to-hand. Wits and imagination shall win this fight, not brute force. And despite the appearance of Kirk’s opponent, he actually manages to get the good captain on the ropes quite a few times.

It also serves as a sort of character introduction for the Gorn, and in some ways, Kirk himself. Keep in mind that the fight is the very first time these two are meeting each other face to face. While Kirk and co had been fighting the Gorn for most of the episode, they mostly appear as off-camera threats or just another hokey-looking spaceship the Enterprise crew can pursue and shoot photon torpedoes at. Kirk’s crew is actually about to vaporize the attackers when some highly evolved cosmic demigod called the Metrons stops Kirk and the attackers in their tracks and decides that if the two are going to kill one another like savages, they might as well do mano-a-mano. The two are teleported to a planet’s surface, which is where we first see the Gorn in all his cheesy, underbudgeted, 1960s TV glory.

At first glance, the show seems to justify Kirk’s appraisal of the Gorn as ruthless killers by revealing him to be a scary-looking reptilian brute who communicates primarily through grunts and growls. But as anyone familiar with the original series outside of a glance at some Wikipedia articles will tell you, even back then, Star Trek was smarter than that.

As silly as some of the episodes can be, Star Trek has always been about exploring what it means to be “civilized,” “advanced,” or “human” in general, something I’d argue is a core aspect of the franchise. And this episode, particularly from that first confrontation onwards, explores similar tropes, specifically, not judging a book by its cover and trying to understand where someone you consider an “opponent” is coming from.

As previously mentioned, the Gorn actually manages to get Kirk on the ropes more than a few times with its traps and snares. It’s clear that this isn’t some mindless brute, but a creature that is, if nothing else, crafty. Kirk even monologues about how he has to remember that the Gorn isn’t some mindless monster, despite what his instincts tell him, when they first meet.

“I face the creature the Metrons called a Gorn. Large, reptilian. Like most humans, I seem to have an instinctive revulsion to reptiles. I must fight to remember that this is an intelligent, highly advanced individual, the Captain of a starship, like myself, undoubtedly a dangerously clever opponent.”

Kirk and the Gorn even end up speaking at one point, thanks to some communicators the two had been given to, well, communicate with their crews, and, surprise, surprise, each other. It’s here where the episode really explores the idea of not judging an alien based on its hokey

GORN [OC]: This is your opponent, Earthling… I’m weary of the chase. Wait for me. I shall be merciful and quick.

KIRK [on viewscreen]: Like you were at Cestus Three?

GORN [OC]: You were intruding! You established an outpost in our space.

KIRK [on viewscreen]: You butchered helpless human beings

GORN [OC]: We destroyed invaders, as I shall destroy you!

As you can imagine, this sheds quite some new light on the attack we see at the beginning of the episode, not to mention a decent justification for their actions. Their actions weren’t entirely unprovoked, even if they could’ve tried reaching out before going with the explosive option. McCoy and Spock, who are both watching, even comment on this, suggesting that maybe diplomatic relations can be built between humanity and the Gorn… assuming the captain survives.

Kirk does actually manage to get the upper hand by creating something that would, in its own way, lead to the Federation itself: gunpowder. He Macguyvers a primitive flintlock rifle out of an assortment of plants, along with an assortment of chemicals and diamonds that he conveniently finds lying around. In one final gamble, he shoots his opponent, knocking the two-legged lizard out for the count. The Metron even offers to let Kirk finish the beastie off, but, having learned his lesson about how the Gorn aren’t vicious killers, he lets them live.

And we are left to assume that the Federation go on to add the Gorn to their ranks, which I say because, well, we don’t ever see the Gorn again. Not even in the original series, much less the Next Generation era. Apparently they show up in “Strange New Worlds” and that (other) animated Star Trek spin-off, Lower Decks, but I’m not the most familiar with either, so I shall take the Star Trek Wikipedia’s word on this one.

Getting back to the episode in question, I think it, specifically our first confrontation with the Gorn, sort of represents the enduring charm of the original series. It might be cheesy, unsubtle, and more than a little outdated, but smart in its own way, especially given repeat views. While the storytelling of the original series wasn’t always subtle, it wasn’t afraid to ask questions or confront uncomfortable questions.

While it might not be a good fight scene in terms of actual choreography, it tells us quite a bit about the combatants and about the world they inhabit. It establishes that theirs is not a conflict that can be fought with plain old fisticuffs, but one that must be one that must be won by intelligence and clever thinking. A rare spectacle, both within the original series and in fight scenes in general. And while I do think a certain amount of the memorability of the fight is because of how ridiculous Kirk’s opponent looks, I don’t think that’s the only factor. I think it’s both because of how the Gorn’s appearance, cheesy costume or not, ties into the episode’s themes of misunderstanding those we may have be fighting with, not to mention what it tells us about the combatants.

Think of how many “better” fight scenes you've seen over the years that seemingly lack the intelligence or smarts. I can sure think of more than a few, typically from actors who have “no-lose” clauses in their contracts. And for all the flash, all the budget, all the CGI—see the aforementioned Batman versus Superman—many of them are outdone by a fight in an episode of a 60-year-old show whose budget per episode probably couldn’t even cover the catering for most of these movies.

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