Have You Got A Case Of The Seriouses?

You may be suffering from too much seriousness in your life. Have you noticed that your clothes are all muted colours? Are your hats all sensible? Do your socks tell people about your soul? Does your house have a place for everything and a thing for every place? Do your friends golf? Do your friends ask you things like how’s the stock market Jeff? Does your briefcase sing a song?

Do you remember a time when you used to frolic? Did you ever splash a friend in the pool? Did you ever do a shot when you had work the next day? Then there is hope. I can be the the clown-horn-siren-call you have been waiting for.

Serious people are often known to walk the same way, life passing them by unfunnily, but there is song in their heart and laughter in their eyes . They see people splashing in puddles, but don’t join in for fear of ruining their trousers. They see people wrestling, but don’t want to ruin the crease of their shirt. They see people catching a ball but don’t want to tackle their friend because we’re adults now. I was tackled by a woman in her late 30s the other day, it was the kindest thing she’s ever done for me.

I am offering a silliness audit. Show me your wardrobe, your day-to-day life, your friends, your family. I will tell you what to cut and where you can add some silliness. Say goodbye to your drab children, your dull wife and your lacklustre clothes. I can help you find a new girlfriend, better kids and some glad rags.

Next we will work on your walk. You’ve probably hand the same old tired one for 20 years. I will help you sample some of our award-winning walks hand curated by Himalayan Clowns who took a vow of silliness.

Your life will be much sillier, you won’t fear paying the bills because you won’t have a job. You won’t need to pay the mortgage because you will probably be homeless. But you will live, laugh, love. (Romance not guaranteed).

Once you have passed our foundational silliness course, you will earn your Silly Goose badge (only 999$).

Silly Gooses are our highest achievers in the silly arts. You will be part of a select few, who have paid me a thousand dollars for the honour.

If you display a special talent for the silly arts, you may be selected to become a silliness coach yourself and for just 200,000$ you will be a graduate of clown college with a Bachelors of Ridiculousness. Then the world is your oyster. Some of our graduates have gone on to earn tens of dollars in the lucrative field of silliness coaching.