Never Accept Promises as Payment

The carrot and the stick

Understanding the concept of the dangling carrot sooner would have saved me a lot of time that I spent dealing with employers, friends, and women.

It’s what I like to use to describe when an individual or party holds up the fake promise of doing something for you so you stay involved, but they never follow up on it, and you stick around thinking eventually they will.

Be it staying at a job because they keep mentioning your promotion, though it’s been months. Or dates with a girl, though she has canceled on you thrice already.

It’s the false promise of a desired outcome they can provide that keeps you engaged until you wake up to the reality that you’re being used for work or validation.

Because nothing feels better than someone asking you for favors only you can provide. And especially if they have to do nothing in return. Though we speak of covert contracts, this would be the opposite of them, turning into validation-seeking behavior.

When I walked away

I used to work at a gym with a 45-minute commute.