Say something to make me feel better

Exams. University. Is it worth it?

‘Say something to make me feel better’, Imogen asks as we make what feels like the eternal drive to school to collect her GCSE results.

‘You will do great’, I chime, desperately wishing I had read beyond the baby books and had an army of reassuring pre-exam results platitudes to trot out.

‘Not about the exams. Say something else’, my terrified and unusually tetchy Imogen snaps.

‘Cooler today’, I say. ‘Thank God that heat has gone’.

A valiant shot on goal but a clear miss. Imogen ignores me and remains silent for the rest of the journey.

‘Don’t worry, the resits are only in November’. We arrive at school and are greeted by a father consoling his inconsolable daughter.

‘I think I am going to be sick’ Imogen says. I think I am too.

She picks up her envelope. The future of the rest of her life lies inside. Or at least she thinks it does. We all know better. She rips off the Band-Aid and delves straight in. Passed. Every one of them. Good passes too. Top passes. She is elated. So much so that she bursts into tears and her shaky hands struggle to hold the piece paper that two years work have created.

Hard work deserves rewards. But its not always that simple.

Proud isn’t the word. Well, it is. We spend the rest of the day on a high. Of sorts. I had a migraine and went to bed, and Imogen went out with friends but came home early as she, and her friends, felt a bit overwhelmed by the whole experience.

I remember this phase from my eldest daughter Emma’s exam results. It takes a while for the adrenaline to subside, for the serotonin to flow freely before the next cortisol injection as the A level courses begin.

A levels. Then off to university. That’s what this is all about. Getting a place at university. It is getting real and so is the prospect of paying for it. We have already supported one of our children through university. Went interest only on our mortgage to do so.

Money expert Martin Lewis quite wisely advises starting saving for your child’s university fund the week they are born. Martin Lewis didn’t work part time in the NHS, with a crippling mortgage and just enough to get through each month like I did.

How much does is cost to send a child to university in England? Tuition fees of £9790 add up to £29,370 for a three-year degree. Student accommodation comes in at around £7000 a year, so that is another £21,000 to the pot and then there is of course the small matter of food and travel and the odd pint down at the student union. Even if a student can survive on £50 a week, in this cost-of-living crisis that’s a big ask, that still amounts to £7,800 over a three-year course.

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By my (very modest) calculations, most students need north of 50k to graduate debt free after a 3-year course. Over the course of raising my children, I have struggled to save £50 never mind 50k. Of course, the students can take out loans to cover tuition fees, as Emma did. And start their working lives in mounting debt. Congratulations!

Students can take out ‘maintenance loans’ too to help cover the cost-of-living expenses calculated by household income. But these must be paid back (with interest) and are often way below the costs incurred of living a frugal, student lifestyle and need topping up by parents. Parents who are often struggling to pay their own bills.

10 Reasons the student loan system in England is unfair

Despite Emma being receiving a maintenance loan, working part time and budgeting religiously, she still did not have enough to cover her rent.