The Evolution of 'Why'

When I began running (accidentally) I think it quickly became about having control over something in my life during a time when so much was out of control. I had no idea the hold it would have on me in the long term.

Like many, it was during COVID that I began to explore ways to find calm within the complete overwhelm, and I had no interest in baking bread.

Movement and nature has been grounding for me for as long as I can remember, and what began as walks along the local river trails in an exploration of my local 5km radius, a green corridor that could reconnect with me with a taste of wilderness within the suburbs, evolved into purposeful movement, and time off from technology.

During those early days of walking, jogging and running, my why was about reclaiming who I was outside of motherhood, caring for my parents, my business, and managing my children’s remote schooling. Those hours I could claim for myself were where I rediscovered clarity and creativity, and self.

The biggest surprise however, was that I began to find that running wasn’t the torturous thing I thought it was… I had fallen into this space of “trail running”… where nature and movement coexisted, without any ego around pace.

[As someone with an almost lifelong backstory of camping, hiking and rock climbing, I had no idea there could be a sport that essentially combined all the adventures I loved. This was a game changer.]

I would suggest still, at it’s core, my why is tied up in self discovery, curiosity, being present and challenging myself… but it’s also deeply connected to growing up in a family that were often outdoors.

I was camping long before I could walk, when I could walk it wasn’t long before I was hiking. Family holidays were simple, load up the car, hitch up the trailer, drive to a campsite, make base, and then explore.

Most of those early expeditions were running around trying to keep up with my older brothers who were unbeknown to me, trying to lose me. Teenage brothers tend not to want their little sister tagging along.

The joke is on them though, because it clearly built a resilience and adventurous spirit in me that drives me to pursue big bold dreams now.

A “tomboy” at my core, I would entertain myself with an internal narrative of being an explorer in the wilderness and challenging the stereotypes of what females were capable of.

I know my mother, after having four boys, wished for a daughter who’d enjoy dresses and playing with dolls, and while I did partake in some traditional gender stereotypes she also encouraged me to be my own person, follow my own path, whatever that might look like, much to her dismay at times.

I guess now, as I continue to move in spaces outside of the norm it’s the very foundation that my parents fostered which are at the root of my why. It’s those core memories and experiences that have led me to who, and where I am. It’s the reason I continue to step into uncomfortable spaces, because it was my parents that opened my world up to nature, exploration, and not being defined by expectations.

My why will always be connected to curiosity and challenge, but it’s also for the experiences, the growth and the memories, for the memories my parents lost, that dementia stole.

As my father continues to deteriorate, and for the memory of my mother, my why goes hand in hand with raising awareness and funds for Dementia Australia through Miles For Memories, because, as my mother would say, and demonstrate in her life, “you should leave things better than you found them.”