Relentless Grace - Towards Ourselves

Commitment 5 of the 10 Commitments of Ally Leaders reads: We offer relentless grace to our people and to ourselves - always.

Grace is my bedrock value. Everything I do and think about starts with grace.

I love this definition of grace: Grace is the outward manifestation of the realization that we’re only human - every single person is only human.

Relentless grace entered my vocabulary in 2014 at a UCC church in Atlanta. In the benediction, the pastor called on “god’s relentless grace.” Relentless - never ending, never faltering, always present.

It changed my life.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve focused on offering relentless grace to everyone I meet. It’s hard, but I know we become what we practice, so I keep practicing it.

One day, in the middle of an awful, cruel internal dialogue (you know exactly the kind of dialogue I’m talking about), I stopped. Stopping the nasty dialogue is something I’ve become good at, but what I did next? That was new.

I murmured to myself, “relentless grace.” And, in that moment, I understood that the most important person I could offer relentless grace to is me. Me.

I’ll bet you know how this goes. When my spouse, or my co-worker, or my client, or a barista at Starbucks screws up, I’m all about offering grace and honoring their humanity.

But when I mess up? Um, no. It’s not pretty. That merciless voice in my head takes over - sometimes over the most trivial things - and I’m off to the races criticizing every decision I’ve ever made, every word I’ve ever said. It’s exhausting.

Until I back the f*** off myself and repeat “relentless grace” over and over until I can accept that grace. Until I stop and take the time to offer myself the same consideration I offer everyone else.

Which brings up these questions. What if I dismissed what I didn’t do and concentrated on what I did? Would I then be able to offer myself the opportunity to recognize the power of my actions?

I would.

I would because I’ve figured out, when I remember to exercise it, relentless grace gives me a soft, kind place to land when I mess up or struggle. It helps me keep going in the face of the endless insanity of the world.

That grace honors my mistakes, sees my successes, and blesses my recovery.

Take really good care,

Becky