Even in the most challenging situations, there a thousand ways to be kind

Dear friends,

Each morning I walk into my shift, I stop to admire the mountains that surround our little hospital. Even with people coming and going from the hospital grounds, it feels quiet in the mornings. Peaceful even. I listen to the birds chirp, and I breathe in the crisp mountain air. Yet, the moment I walk through the hospital doors, the work day begins, and reality kicks in.

In my clinical job, I work alongside the most amazing, committed group of healthcare workers - people who are committed to doing the best they can for the people they serve. I’m so grateful to find a clinical environment so aligned in mission and values. Yet, many days, I leave my shift feeling a sense of grief. What I could offer each patient that day just didn’t feel like enough.

Working in a county hospital, every shift is a visceral demonstration of how the political and personal intertwine. Each conversation with a family is a reminder of how much of our life, our health, is determined by the systems we have no choice but to engage with. Policies made at the national and local levels determine who has access to basic needs such as housing, food, or safety within their neighborhoods. In the framework of one shift, I can care for families who struggle with housing and food insecurity or who have fled violence in their own country to seek safety for their children. Families navigate so much outside of our hospital walls, and yet, we often feel ill-equipped to support them in the complexity of their experience.

On the days I feel overwhelmed, I make space to honor my anger and frustration. When I struggle to find grounding, I ask myself - what is one small way I can provide the care I believe patients deserve? Fundamentally, I ask myself - what can I do today to be kind?

As healthcare workers, we bear witness to unthinkable tragedies and resounding joys. In a system that prioritizes profit, the little things that can mean so much are not documented anywhere. There is no place to chart “sat and held my patient’s hand as we cried together” or “honestly shared my own struggles with breastfeeding.” Yet, when we choose to open our hearts, even when it doesn’t make sense, we choose kindness in a system that values efficiency at all costs. Even in the most challenging situations, there are a thousand ways to be kind.

Author Khalil Ghibran shares, “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention.” I love this framework because it empowers me to seek out opportunities to be kind, especially when I feel helpless about systems I cannot change. I can listen with intention to a family’s concerns and reflect on what I am hearing. I can help put on a patient’s socks who is struggling to bend down. I can bring a glass of water or a box of tissues. I can hold a hand when a mother is anxiously waiting to see her baby in the NICU. I can slow down to breathe and make sure I am present with a family. These acts may feel small, but these moments of kindness can ripple outwards.

In a healthcare system that operates on the altruism of healthcare workers, a commitment to kindness is not meant to overextend ourselves beyond our limits. One of the most radical ways to engage in kindness is to first offer it to ourselves. There are days when I am stretched too thin, too exhausted by life and the system of healthcare, to do anything beyond the requirements of my job. On those days, I try to be kind to myself, to remember that I, too, am human. I am also doing the best I can.

What are small ways you choose to be kind to yourself or others? We’d love to hear from you.

With gratitude,

Anu & Laura

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