10 Snarky Movies For When You're Full of Piss & Vinegar

I’ve been told more than a few times that my scripts have a snarky vibe which always catches me off guard because it’s completely unintentional. When I think about why, I realize it’s the 90’s fault.

My scripts are snarky because I’m snarky and I’m snarky because the 90’s were SNARKY. Being a teenager at that time sort of baked it in, I guess. Sarcasm was so prevalent that I remember actually wondering in high school if I had forgotten how to be sincere. And then realizing that I didn’t care if I had. Sincerity was for losers.

And before we all point at Chandler Bing, let’s really remember what was going on back then - he was a reflection of the trend, not the genesis of it. While he coined a genuinely annoying affectation that spread like crazy, the disaffected youth who believed everything was bullshit, everyone was lying and nothing mattered because we were all going to die anyway… we didn’t need any help in finding the perfect way to express our cynicism. We were jaded and we wore it like a badge and we showed it to the world through our sarcasm.

There was the total straight-faced sarcasm, which I hated because I often fell for it and then felt stupid, or the intentionally exaggerated sarcasm, which I loved because, well, I got it the first time around. When I wielded my own sarcasm (well, let’s be honest, the sarcasm faucet was never turned off), I favored that slightly condescending delivery that signals, “I’m making fun of everything because everything sucks and nothing matters because we are all going to die anyway.”

You didn’t laugh at sarcasm. You smirked. You chuckled. You nodded knowingly.

It was a dark time, guys. Humor had to have that depressing edge to it or it just seemed too frivolous, too silly. If you liked that stuff it meant that you couldn’t see what was going on around you, that you were oblivious. Which, honestly, that level of repression can’t be sustained, which I’m guessing is why Adam Sandler rose to fame around then. It’s like all of our brains were straining under the pressure of being so aware of futility that they exploded and just wanted fart jokes.

We cracked.

But for a lot of us, the snark was already inside us. We had incorporated it deep into our psyche. It became part of our voice.

And so of course it makes sense that now when I write there’s a level of that ‘everything sucks but isn’t it kind of funny sometimes’ sensibility pervading everything.

I remember finding out in my twenties that what we had once thought was the worse thing you could EVER do, which was to ‘sell out’, the generation behind us had fully embraced and reframed as ‘buying in’. I actually remember the EXACT time and place and conversation where I learned this. A profound sadness washed over me. I mourned the death of authenticity. I mourned the loss of being no one’s fool. I mourned the loss of sarcasm.

All that said, sarcasm and snark was certainly not invented in the 90’s - it’s been around forever (thank God). Here are some of my favorite movies for when I want to roll around in that bitchy, judgy, sad, cynical feeling.

You guys, Addison DeWitt is possibly the snarkiest character to ever exist in a movie. He is played by George Sanders who is possibly the snarkiest actor to ever play the snarkiest characters in movies. I mean… have you seen Rebecca? I just adore him and when all of the sudden people were talking about this great author George Saunders a few years ago, I got super confused. Then you throw George Sand in there and I got really messed up. All that is to say, his opening monologue to All About Eve is just… perfect.

This whole movie is one big snarkfest of the most depressing kind. It’s funny, you want to laugh, but… God, it’s so not funny. It feels like it cuts too close to the quick in a way that makes it incredibly impactful and elevates it above your typical satire/spoof (also see: The Big Short). That I have met Faye Dunaway’s character in the course of my career in reality television many times is a sad thing.

I doubt I was alone in wanting to be like Winona Ryder in the 90’s. She was so… cool. I mean, here she was, in the popular clique, which we all reviled back then, and she still maintained wit, style and a smidge of humanity. I wouldn’t have thought it possible if I didn’t see it with my own two eyes.

“Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.”

Oh boy, do I love this movie. And I love the snark of Tammy Metzler’s voiceover more than anything. She’s a supporting character - the young troublemaking lesbian who orchestrates chaos in her high school’s election - and her clearness of vision is just so fantastic. She calls it like she sees it and in this small town high school there is a lot to see.

I debated putting this movie on here but ultimately I decided, like All About Eve, if a movie isn’t snarky but it has one UNBELIEVABLY snarky character, it should count. And no one (other than George Sanders probably) does that shit better than Chris Eigeman. I imagine he’s sort of Whit Stillman’s muse - mostly only being in his films and mostly playing the same types of characters. He also shows up wonderfully in Noah Baumbach’s Kicking and Screaming. No one talks like this guy. I could listen to him for hours. He is snark embodied. He is Snark King. His voice was meant to deliver lines such as:

“The most important thing to realize about parents is that there is absolutely nothing you can do about them.”

or

“Playing strip poker with an exhibitionist somehow takes the challenge away.”

or

“It's a tiny bit arrogant of people to go around worrying about those less fortunate.”

I mean… goes without saying.

Snark from another country!

“Wow, does Seoul University have a major in document forgery? Ki-jeong would be top of her class."

Diablo Cody definitely loves her some snark. The way Elliot Page talks in this movie actually really reminds me of how we talked back in the 90’s - everything had a ‘tone’ or a ‘slant’. Nothing was straight forward. And very rarely sincere.

Shane Black is a true snark master. I mean, I bow at his feet of snark. He finds a way to do it that never feels too dark, never gets really mean, it’s just… clever. Fun. He keeps it light. Sarcasm is just word play - none of that heaviness attached.

I will never forgive the movie-going public for not going to see this movie because they denied us the spawning of a franchise that I would have happily gone to see for years to come. One of my all-time recent favorites.

Proof that we’ve been snarky forever - this movie is cynical and witty and so much fun. Better dialogue has never been written. And dialogue in general has never been delivered faster. It holds up, too. It still feels incredibly relevant.