Make It a Happy Year: Accept Human Nature

Happy New Year!

You can make it a happy one.

I figured this out when I read Chimpanzee Politics twenty-five years ago. I saw that primates have always had social drama since the beginning of time, so getting upset about it would not be useful. You might think ethics requires you to be upset. You may tell yourself that your anger serves the greater good. But it doesn’t. It’s just a habit. This week, we shift from family politics to office politics, with the usual clamor of national politics. We can remind ourselves that primates have always sought social dominance (serotonin), protection (oxytocin), and new rewards (dopamine). When others do it, it’s annoying, but when you do it, it feels necessary for your survival.

You may think others are unethical in their quest and it gives them an unfair advantage. If you get upset about this, you will be upset all the time. It’s your choice.

You may tell yourself that you are angry for the sake of others. This is the verbal brain’s way of justifying the anger in the mammal brain. In the end, your anger does not help others or yourself. It is just old wiring. You have a choice: rewire this or be miserable. Step One is to accept that our mammal brain that creates life-or-death feelings about small things. It’s designed to create a sense of urgency about your quest for social dominance, protection, and new rewards. Our verbal human cortex comes up with fancy theories to explain these feelings. We believe our explanations because the truth is “not nice.”

I started to relax when I learned about the social lives of animals. I used to think the world must change before I can be happy. Suddenly realized that this won’t happen, so I had to take responsibility for my own happiness. What a relief!

I hope this works for you as it worked for me.

You are invited to my free Herd Behavior Workshop starting January 24. Details

I just lowered the price of my first book ($2.99), which really digs into this:
I, Mammal: How to Make Peace With the Animal Urge for Social Power.

I think you’re going to have a happy year.