A blog about my thoughts
Buying new devices for a hobby or entertainment purposes is exciting. I enjoy researching, watching reviews, and digging into forums to determine if my purchase will be worth it. I imagine myself using my new toy. Often, this thought makes me happier than the actual experience of using it. In the past, I purchased musical instruments, consoles, handhelds, e-readers, and other electronic devices…
I remember when Hollow Knight: Silksong came out and people playing the game demanded an easier and less punishing experience. Soon articles came in questioning the decisions Team Cherry made while developing the game. Terms like "Artificial Difficulty" were thrown around, players venting online that the game was too hard, unfair and inaccessible. Some parts of that discussion show me that games…
I tend to punish other people in a very specific way. If they do me wrong, I want to let them know. I want them to owe me one, even if it doesn't make the situation better. It is purely because it puts me in a position of power. Now they have to redeem themselves; they have to gain my favor again. And I can decide when the threshold has been reached and everything is good again. It can even happen…
As a teenager, I searched for an identity and found it with music, inside gaming subcultures and the things I consumed. I could assign a role to myself and people would recognize me as someone from that group. It defined me through my clothing, the things I talked about and my social media presence. It was an easy way to find a place in the world at a time when my self-identity was not yet carved…
In my employment contract there is no mention of productivity or an expected outcome. The one thing that is stated: I give time, I receive money, which means I trade time for money. Wouldn't it make more sense to demand something that is more valuable to my company than time? Time alone does not help them in any way. They want results, not time. I could spend all the time in the world sitting at…
Gifting can be fulfilling. The gifting person almost always gains something as much as the receiver of our present. Many of our actions are driven by motivation. Gifting is also one of them. Seeing the other person happy or showing them how much we care rewards us enough to put effort into the gift. If we remove ourselves from the equation, the gift loses its purpose. We want the receiver to know…
Without me, there would be no observer that could experience or assign values to things. If I had not been born, there would be no one who would know that something like an "existence" is even an option. I am the prerequisite for my world to exist. If I died, my world would die with me. If ten minutes after my death the world were to end, I would be indifferent to it, because I am no longer there…
I have no big struggles at the moment. Weeks are flowing into one another and every week feels roughly the same, with small deviations. Months fly by in the blink of an eye. I am mostly healthy and can pursue my hobbies in my free time. I have a great social circle and I am blessed with wonderful friends. I feel privileged to not feel miserable, because many people don't share that experience.…
There is no theory too stupid to believe in. If there exists an idea about something, people will defend it. So I no longer wonder how people can believe in a theory that is so far removed from reality that you have to abandon all reason and logic to come to such a conclusion. You can apparently make every concept work in your head if you try hard enough. And it is more exciting to assign made-up…
One often overlooked benefit of journaling is recognizing our own thinking patterns. Because journaling records our thoughts, after some time we should have an index of the things we think about. We can use this to our advantage to tackle worries or negative emotions in a structured way. When we write, we tend to use the same phrases, the same nouns, or the same names in our journal entries. I am…