Where Art Thou, Rocchio?

by Caden Cadenson -- Resident Ranter

Remember that time when the Illinois River Carp and their fans were moving forward thinking that Brayan Rocchio was a potential long-term fit on this roster? That's one embarrassing yearbook photo.

I don't hate Brayan Rocchio (except for that extra "A" in his first name; that does kind of make me hate him), but I saw two months ago what the Carp front office just now noticed: Brayan Rocchio is not a long-term anything. He's just a guy; he'll pop a few homers, steal a few bags, play solid middle infield defense, but you have to walk bent over when you're around him because his ceiling is trying to smother you from above. I mean, it's right fucking there.

The Carp already have a guy like this --Xavier Edwards. Except X is the better version of this. You can deal with the lack of slugging from one starter, but two and you're screaming towards a 9th place finish. Oh, and where are the Carp in the standings? Yeah, 9th. I won't say it's all Brayan Rocchio's fault, but I'm not not licking toads.

In the words of Crash Davis, fuck this fucking game.