My Tried-And-True Friend Breakup Playlist

With the Ciara Miller and Amanda Batula Summer House mess, the Lena Dunham and Jenni Konner falling out chronicled in Famesick, and the Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo beef resurfacing, I feel like the universe is begging me to discuss friendship breakups. And I’m happy to oblige.

Fortunately, I have several rock-solid, soul-nourishing friendships in my life right now. But I’m also a double Scorpio with a low tolerance for tomfoolery, and I’ve weathered my fair share of drama. Some of my lowest emotional points have revolved around friend issues, whether it was someone projecting insecurities onto me, revealing troublesome political opinions, always centering men (big sigh), or just ghosting me.

Friendship breakups fuck with you because those relationships aren’t supposed to have an expiration date. You know each other’s darkest secrets and wildest dreams, and you assume you’ll still be giggling and talking shit together at 85 years old. Then everything changes one day, and your world gets super lonely and depressing.

God forbid you want to process by crying to songs about it… There are none. I mean, yes, there are a few, but it’s a needle in a haystack situation. The haystack being bazillions of songs about love and romantic heartbreak. It is bewildering to me how under-explored this topic is in pop music.

Over the years, I’ve had to carefully curate my own friendship breakup playlist with songs that really hit during those painful moments. If you’re ready to sob, rage, feel confused and/or guilty, and maybe, just maybe experience of glimmer of healing… enjoy this journey.

Dare I say this soft pop breakup tune from 2020 is Gracie’s magnum opus? It’s my personal favorite, at least. “Funny how you feel like we would ever talk again / How could you think I’d be your friend?” Gracie sings as though she’s on the verge of tears. Pressing play on the song automatically activates my own tear ducts every time.

If you’re craving a bitter, “fuck you, I’m done” vibe, “Cut You Off” is your girl. Selena breezily speak-singing about cutting someone out of her life is just so satisfying and cathartic. I live for her rich alto tone and that sassy guitar solo toward the end.

As a Camilizer since the Fifth Harmony and “Havana” days, I’m declaring “Real Friends” the ultimate friendship breakup anthem. It’s a simple, acoustic tune that captures the ache of craving genuine connection while feeling surrounded by (pardon my French) fake bitches.

Four-ish years before Olivia Dean skyrocketed to fame, I was blasting this masterpiece on hot girl walks because I have taste. The bittersweet, soul-infused pop track about outgrowing someone strikes a delicate balance between petty and mature. Like, you feel vindicated and oddly relaxed after a listen or two.

Justice for emails i can’t send-era Sabrina Carpenter. In BE times (Before Espresso), she made this incredibly vulnerable and intimate, whisper-pop ballad about wrestling with loneliness. Hats off to whoever came up with this hook: “You can’t spell lonesome without me.”

The song I blast when I would just like a goddamn apology. I’ve never heard someone yearn for a sorry like this in a song before, and Tori’s buttery vocals ooze the pain. Just a melancholy guitar riff and the truth. God, I love this woman.

Having your idol steal your songwriting credits is a fairly unique situation, but Olivia manages to translate it into sharp, universal lyrics about platonic heartbreak: “My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge / And I hear your voice every time that I think I’m not enough.” A piano ballad for the ages.

Sometimes we’re the ones who fucked up, and it’s healthy to be self-aware and sit with that uncomfy wave of guilt. Thank goodness Rina cooked up this synth-heavy bop about being an avoidant, overreacting, all-around shitty friend.

One thing about me is I can’t resist a Disney Channel-coded, angsty pop-rock tune. This one is explicitly about a former friend who calls herself a “girl’s girl,” but fails to live up to that title… tsk tsk. “Said she had my back but she had the knife,” Tate belts in the electric guitars-driven chorus.

Herstory. The queens of working it out on the remix. The epic female friendship anthem speaks for itself, and I’m just grateful the pop divas were willing to share their journey and stream-of-consciousness perspectives for the sake of transcendent art.

And finally, we have a chill singer-songwriter pop song for your healing era. This is the phase of the platonic breakup when enough time has passed for you to gain a fresh, more holistic perspective; you can appreciate the best moments and understand how it all fell apart. I ride for Ms. Annika and her diaristic bangers.