On the Exhausting Never Ending Inner Dialogue of the Striver

Yesterday I began to think about all the different messages I broadcast to myself all day long and how exhausting being a STRIVER is. I am always striving for better. For more. To be better. I have always been like this.To that end I kept a running tab of the messages my brain fired off to me in just one day.

What’s your list look like? Here’s mine for just the 3 hours I kept track.

I feel bloated.

I’m fat.

It’s okay that I am fat though.

I should exercise more, my knee is only going to get worse.

Plus there’s the fear of bone loss, remember that’s already happening.

I am not sure I should continue HRT.

But bone loss.

I drink too much.

I should join a wine club though. Like one where you test taste really high quality stuff.

I should have more friends.

But ew, people.

I need to take the dogs to the groomer.

I wish my husband would clean up the backyard.

Maybe I'll do it my damn self.

I need to clean the studio closet out

I have too many cloth bags.

My closet is overstuffed and disorganized.

I don’t have enough nice clothes for fall.

Nothing fits.

I hate this skirt.

I should never wear skirts again.
I need new shoes

But why is my foot always hurting.

I should see the podiatrist again.

He won’t help though.

I should eat better.

I should eat more protein.

I should just put tofu in everything.

I don’t drink enough water.

Is there a supplement you can take to bruise less?

I need to spend time actively training the puppy.

The puppy’s behaviors are my fault.

The puppy is an asshole.

No the Chihuahua is .

I am an asshole.

I am killing it today at work.

I need to schedule a nail appointment.

Why is this guy asking stupid questions

Why dont I have the answers to these stupid questions?
I am doing some amazing writing here.

People are going to think this is AI.

Should I not be using AI at all? Data centers are bad.

But I mean you can’t avoid it, not and do research.

I should learn more about AI

I don’t know who these politicians are winning these primaries or why the news is so excited about them.

I should do more protests.

I should sign up to do something with the vote in November.

I need to get all my lectures done for the next month in advance.

I should be using more video

I need to start making videos for the office.

I need to do staff meetings.

I wish I liked Matcha everyone on TikTok who likes it seems so together

I don’t like Macha.Why does it taste like grass caught fire?

I wish I tanned instead of whatever this is in the sun.

I need a better face cream.

I feel bloated.

I feel bloated.

I should drink more water.

Oh my goodness.

I have to stop this.

Internal Lynda, can we make a deal? Can we just shut up for a minute? Can we just live our lives and appreciate our accomplishments and our pleasures and stop constantly trying to do better, be better, criticize, optimize, improve, expand and yet simultaneously disappear? Can we change the dialogue?