"passengers after rescue from a shipwreck"

We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captain's table. Unlike the feelings of the ship's passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined.

The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.

—The Big Book, p. 17

In early sobriety, my 🔵Self🌼 reads this passage aspirationally. As with the Nine Promises, I hope for but do not yet experience this reality. One of my parts, my ⚫️Self-Like Manager⁕, is all about joy in escape from disaster. He thinks all of my parts should be experiencing this joy. He wants to round up all the other parts and insist on brotherly and harmonious action.

But the rest of my parts feel like we are still in the Titanic movie. We have made it into the lifeboats, but they are small rowboats, tossed about by waves large enough to sink an ocean liner.

We do have hope. Looking outside of my person, when we go to AA meetings, my parts can see the larger Coast Guard rescue vessels nearby, and we see other people who have been rescued, secure and safe on the Coast Guard ships. Some of them—people like me in early sobriety—are wrapped in foil blankets, recovering from hypothermia. Some of them—the ones who have been sober at least several years and no longer have the desire to drink—are strong enough to help pull weak people out of the lifeboats and onto the big rescue ship.

The Coast Guard officers have all been shipwrecked before; they know what it’s like, and now they are strong and dry and can confidently perform first aid on the drowning, nurse the hypothermic back to health. The Coast Guard captain and first mate are steering the ship back to harbor. Soon those who had been drowning will be on dry land. My parts, still in a lifeboat, gaze hopefully and longingly after them.

It’s true, though: we have discovered a common solution. Looking around us, there is no other possible rescue. For all of my parts, in and out of the water, “these rooms of AA,” these lifeboats and that Coast Guard ship within sight, are the only way out.

My 🔵Self🌼 hopes to bring the brotherly and harmonious action of the AA rooms to all of my parts. Just as in the rooms, where everybody is on a different step and in a different place in their journey of sobriety, my parts are all in different places and have different feelings about sobriety.

Acknowledging and accepting that each part has a different experience of sobriety is the most important first step of 🔵Self-leadership🌼. Despite their differences, it’s possible for all of my parts to find brotherly and harmonious action. Some will be in a better position to help others. Some will rely on others for help and encouragement.

My 🔵Self🌼 is Confident enough to recognize that I cannot do everything for my parts. Often the help they need most is to heal and restore relationships among each other.

This is especially true of the relationship between certain Managers and Firefighters. Some Managers have given themselves the responsibility to discipline and punish the Firefighters who want to help us by drinking. The Firefighters no longer have drinking as a behavior to protect the system. The Managers still want to discipline them. The Firefighters still want to drink.

Meditation prompts

Now that we are on the journey of sobriety, what would it look like for these Managers and Firefighters to cooperate in brotherly and harmonious action toward a common solution?

• Ask each part what it thinks about its opposite part. It might help to invite just one of them into a room at a time.

• What is each afraid would happen if it stopped doing what it was accustomed to doing when we were still drinking?

Our 🔵Self🌼 can share with these parts ideas from the 12 Steps that they might consider putting into practice.

• What would it look like for this Manager to admit that it is powerless over alcohol, over a Firefighter’s resolution to drink?

• What would it look like for this Firefighter to turn its will over to the care of God as we understand Him, “trusting that God will make all things right if I surrender to His will?”

We can ask a Firefighter how it might reassure a concerned Manager.

We can ask a Manager how it might support (rather than discipline) and encourage (rather than shame) the Firefighter it is concerned about.

Leave a comment