I've Been Struggling To Write

Hi.

I know you’re probably booing and throwing tomatoes at me right now.

I hope you’ll have some mercy, since we all know consistency is easier said done, especially when you’re going through certain periods in your life.

Still, as a writer, that doesn’t feel like a good enough excuse since we don’t just write for entertainment or work. We write to cope with life itself. And I have been writing.

I guess the problem is not that I’ve not been writing; it’s that I’ve not been writing enough to produce pieces I believe are worthy of publication. And it’s simply because I don’t have the time and the mental bandwidth for it.

I may have time sometimes.

But, it just feels like such a risk to spend hours drafting, editing, and curating a piece that comes from the depths of my soul, at the risk of little to no validation, when I’m in such a particularly demanding period of my life.

Yes, I said it. Validation.

Of course we don’t primarily write for validation as writers. Writing is something we do simply because we exist. It’s something we must do because it is part of our nature.

But writing is easier when it’s just journaling to process your feelings or express random thoughts. The moment you’re writing for public consumption, it becomes a performance.

No matter how genuine a piece is, you still want it to reflect who you are as an artist to some degree, especially when you hope to one day make a living from it.

When you’re an independent creative writer, you have the world in your hands. You can write about anything.

All you need is for people to care about what you write enough to willingly pay for it or support you in some other way.

But creative writing demands a lot from your soul. It demands genuineness, creativity, intelligence, passion, and time.

It’s a lot for little in return.

I guess that’s why some people warn against turning your passion into work. But then some others tell you the exact opposite: to build a career around what you’re passionate about. So what is the way forward? I digress.

There are other issues that discourage me, truth be told. But that’s not for discussion today.

I guess in a lot of ways, these issues I’ve mentioned are the struggles of any entrepreneurial path. I’ve always known I would face them.

But this year, I’m faced with a humongous task that demands my literal life.

It demands all my time, my mental health, my body, and my soul. So in the face of that, it’s hard. It’s so hard to convince myself to put in the effort it takes to share my writing again.

And I will be saddled with this demanding task until November.

So bear with this struggling writer. 🫶🏾

Check out some of my more recent works on medium.