By Brett Reinke | Candidate for Idaho Senate, District 24
I have been told—by concerned neighbors, by my opponent, even by a man who cornered me near the citrus display at the grocery store—that I talk about water too much. To that I say: have you met water?
Water is not merely a topic. It is the topic. It is the original subject, the first draft of existence, the thing that got here early and stayed late, quietly filling glasses and canyons alike without ever asking for recognition. And yet we deny it the floor. We silence it with talk of roads and taxes and “priorities,” as though priorities could exist in a world where the faucet runs dry and the clouds file for resignation.
When I look at a glass of water, I do not see a beverage. I see a strategy. I see policy in its purest form—transparent, adaptable, occasionally cold. Some say water takes the shape of its container. I say: why are we not building better containers?
My opponent has a five-point plan. I have a river. Her plan ends; mine continues, meandering, carving, sometimes flooding unexpectedly into conversations about infrastructure, but always with purpose. Always with movement. Have you ever tried to stop a river with a pamphlet? You cannot. I have tried. The pamphlet gets soggy and the river becomes smug.
People ask me, “Brett, what about jobs?” Jobs? What is a job but a series of hydrated moments? What is a workplace without a water cooler, that ancient altar of civic discourse? You take away water, and suddenly nobody has anything to gather around except vague discomfort and a vending machine that hums ominously.
And yes, I have heard the criticism that my recent town hall, titled “An Hour With Moisture,” lacked focus. But I would argue it had condensation. Ideas collected. Thoughts formed droplets. Some slid off the surface entirely, yes, but that is the risk you take when dealing in the liquidity of vision.
Let me be clear: I am not anti-other-topics. I am simply pro-water. Aggressively so. Unapologetically. If elected, I will ensure that every policy is, at minimum, water-adjacent. Education? Hydrated minds learn better. Public safety? Hydrants exist for a reason. Economic development? Have you considered the untapped potential of… more water?
There are those who will say this is too much. That a campaign cannot, should not, revolve so completely around a single element. To them I say: water itself is two elements, and it’s doing just fine.
In closing, I ask for your vote, your trust, and perhaps a tall glass of whatever is nearest. Together, we can build a future that flows—sometimes gently, sometimes with alarming velocity—but always, always forward.
Stay fluid.
Brett Reinke did not write this guest op-ed. The Idaho Examiner is a satirical news site. All articles, headlines, and content are purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. None of the stories on this site should be interpreted as factual reporting.
As an expression of free speech, The Idaho Examiner operates under the protections afforded by the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. We thank you for recognizing and enjoying the satire we strive to deliver.
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