Lesson 49: How To Respond When Everything is Communism Now

MAGA has officially added “communism” to its boogeyman roster. So today’s lesson of Bossi’s Finishing School for Difficult Women teaches you how to respond.

[INSERT CLIP: Trump saying communism is America’s greatest threat.]

When Trump says communism is a greater threat to America than two world wars, Pearl Harbor and September 11, narrow your gaze and say:

Donald, America is so devoted to private wealth that Republicans form a human shield over their wallets whenever someone suggests billionaires contribute a little more to the group project. We are so far from abolishing private ownership in favor of collective ownership that Exxon and Mar-a-Lago can probably stand down from D-Day preparations.

[ Deleted from final video for length: So perhaps the political system we should fear most is not the one you keep shouting about. It’s the one you keep demonstrating.]

When he warns that communists will lure you in with “free rent, free houses and free food” before delivering death and destruction, gently remind him:

Donnie, rent control, public housing and universal health care are not the same as “everything is free.” And public spending is not inherently communism. Americans already collectively fund schools, roads, police departments, fire departments, Social Security and the military through taxes.

So it’s interesting that collective funding is called “public safety” when it buys a police car, but “communism” when it buys a child lunch.

When Donald warns that communists will seize control of the economy, tilt your head and say:

Don, you’ve imposed tariffs to shape what Americans buy, threatened companies with tariffs unless they changed their prices, and made the federal government Intel’s largest shareholder.

None of that makes you a communist. But it does make your sudden concern about politicians controlling private markets rather adorable.

Remember, ladies and gents: The boogeyman may have changed, but the tactic is the same: take a word most people don’t fully understand, turn it into a threat, attach it to whatever group you want people to fear, and count on panic doing the work that facts cannot.

Class dismissed. C.U.Next.Thursday.

A quick programming note: this week’s Why It’s Important essay is going to arrive on Friday rather than Thursday because I went considerably deeper than usual on this one and I thought it may be a lot to receive with the transcript.

I’m also making it free for everyone as a rare PSA. These essays are normally part of the paid Finishing School curriculum, but this felt like one worth opening up and sharing widely.

I’m considering making Friday the regular home for the essays going forward, with Thursday reserved for the video and transcript. Let me know how that rhythm feels to you.